Thursday, November 19, 2009

Good-bye Soother.....Poor Cara

Some big changes are happening for my poor little Cara who is not so little anymore. She will be 4 years old on the 24th of November and it is time to lose the soother or pacifier (for the Americans). I know, I know, she is almost four and it is defiantly time to lose the soother BUT (and it is a big but) Cara has gone through a lot in the past soon to be year and this is very, very hard for me to do to her.
Cara was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in February of this year, right around that time we where thinking it was time to lose the soother. Since her diagnoses she has been through sooo much and her soother is the one thing that make it ALL better. So how do I, a mother that is unable to help my child when she is in pain and most times the one inflicting the pain, suppose to take something that gives her sooo much comfort away??

This will be night #1 without the soother if she and I make it through, she will get to go to the toy store and pick up a princess toy that is our deal....wish us luck.

I know that it is something that I must do, but I feel soooo mean doing it. This afternoon she missed her nap and was really tired around 4:00pm with a BG of 24.2mmols, she kept asking and asking for her soother I told her that is was lost and that I could not find it, she just cried and cried, "did you find it, did you find it". I felt so bad that I thought maybe I should tell her the truth, it was not lost but she is not able to have it anymore because she is getting older and blah, blah, blah, blah (I think that is what she heard anyways) and she just screamed and screamed for 30 minutes straight then she asked to speak to her father who was at work (like he was going to tell me to give back her soother, it was kinda funny.... the way they think) Chris however was able to calm her down and make the deal, a soother for a princess toy...good thinking dad. BTW I did try that one too but she just screamed in my face!


Hallie said...

I feel your pain. Avery had almost given hers up and then along came diabetes and back came her "pap". Like you, I felt terrible taking away the one thing bringing her comfort when going thru all the stress and pain. We gradually got rid of them until all that was left was one. It managed to get a hole in it. I kept making the hole bigger and bigger until she finally decided she didn't want it anymore. Also, the paci fairy would come to our house after she got up and take her paps during the day. The kind fairy would bri g them back for naps and bed. Then just bed. I liked it because if it was ME saying no paci until bed she would fuss and cry. If the paci fairy said that then she must be a big girl and she was cool with that. I have other ideas we tried too- let me know if you are interested. You never know what will work.
Good Luck! I know it's hard. Will be thinking of you both tonight.

Amy said...

Oh...poor Cara!! I don't blame you for not taking it away after diagnosis....I would have done the same thing!
Our Eli (who is now 9) had a pacifier until he was was way too long for him to have it- but that was a TOTALLY different time in our life- lots of adjustment going on and I wasn't ready to fight the battle. When he turned 4, he got a bicycle and a scooter for his birthday. The day after his birthday and enjoying his new things, we told him that if he kept his pacifier, he couldn't have the bike and scooter. That night, when he went to bed, we talked about it again and he choose the pacifier and I told him that his new things would be gone in the morning (sounds so cruel now). I put him to bed and about 15 minutes later, he came walking down the steps, threw the pacifier on the floor and went back to bed. The end. Never asked for it again!
Sorry that was so long...but I'm sure she'll adjust quickly! Hope it goes well!

Meri said...

I can just see Amy's son throwing that pacifire on the floor! That is so great. :)

Parenting is hard. Hardly ever easy. But the good news is kids get over things quickly. She may be angry at you today, and maybe for a few more days...but soon she will forgive you and completly forget how important her soother was to her. You can do this! Stick to your guns! Get her a gift and throw your guilt out the window. 4 years old is the time for dethroning the king/queen. I've been there friend. SO hard and so much guilt with a tiny diabetic, but you are doing the best thing for her. You really are!

Wishing you luck!!!

Wendy said...

Well, if it's any consolation my Kaelyn will be 4 on 12/15 and she's a BAD thumb sucker!!!

Not to mention that my 2.5 year old is still nursing at least once a day.

WHY you ask?

Cuz it's the only way I've known how to be a mom. We're planning some big changes over here too...ay yi yi...

phonelady said...

Listen ladies since I seem to be the oldest mom of all of you relax they dont go to college with a pacifier . yes it is time to take it away at four way past time but they need some kind of comfort . The dentist got after me when manny was 2 about stilll having it cause he was ruining his teeth . so that thing went in the trash that day . eventually they give up the thumb too wendy .

katerina said...

I amsorry but I will have to disagree with you all. There is no right time or age to stop using a pasifier. Kids get to decide when this time comes when they are ready when they have found other ways to comfort themselves. Don't put your child to go through this the hard way if you wait abit longer it will be so much easier for her and for you and I am sure it wont be that long to wait

Nicole said...

Just to let you all know we made it through the night no problems, time to go shopping!! WOOO HOOO for us :)

Hallie I love the idea of the paci fairy...great thinking. I will use that one with Kirstin when I take her soother away!

phonelady (i don't know if you want me to use your real name)lol One of the major reason's that we wanted to take the soother away now is because of Cara's teeth. She has a HUGE over-bit and a very high arch partly caused by the soother. Kids teeth are amazing how fast they fix themselves when you take away the thing that caused them to move in the first place. We saw that with our oldest.

Shamae said...

HUGS! Good luck with all that! I'm sure it will be hard but she will move on and it will all work out. :-)

Laura Houston said...

Oh - I know just how you feel. We had just taken Nate's away for his 1st birthday then boom he was dx and I felt so bad in the hospital. I wanted him to have it but luckily I didn't take any with me. I think you are doing the right thing.

Congrats on night #1 with no soother. She will be just fine!!

Laura Houston said...

PS - love the paci fairy. Great idea.

Leigh said...

Both of my kids were HUGE "fier" addicts! We just went through this in Sept. with my son who turned 4 in Oct. He liked to chew on his so once he chewed through his last one I told him we didn't have any more. Then he threw it in the guinea pig cage and that was the end of it! I never in a million years would have thought it would be that easy!

RipleyFamily said...

We are THERE with you! Zane is almost 3 and I am hoping to do this on (or right after) his birthday. We had almost gotten it away from him at 18 months, then he was dx. We couldn't take it away from him then.

We have cut holes in all of them, so he is not even sucking on them anymore. I am done with them and he will be soon too.

I like the idea of getting a gift if he makes it through a night without it.

Glad she (and you) made it through one night. :)