Something extraordinarily weird has been going on around here for a few weeks now....diabetes has taken a back seat! I do not recommend this at all, I'm sure this is not a good thing, for me, for Cara and for the dreaded A1C and I surely did not ever believe this was even possible.
With a disease that haunts you every second of the day, diabetes is never far from your mind. From the very first thought when you wake, to the very last thought before you drift off to sleep it's there. Even when you are fast asleep dreaming of the most wonderful things diabetes always has a way of getting into your head.
For the past few weeks we have been in the process of moving homes. Which is no small task with 6 kids, 1 crazy puppy, a husband who works long hours and Sat and diabetes. It took 3 huge moving trucks, about a dozen helpers and a long 4 days to be completely moved in.
This is when to my disbelief it all started to happen. The days came and went with only thinking about diabetes when it was time to do something for diabetes, when it was time to check blood sugar I thought about diabetes and when it was time to give insulin I thought about diabetes. Believe you me that is still a lot of diabetes but it was not a constant. The other moments in the day were completely consumed by painting, organizing, cleaning and more cleaning, construction, arranging, watching the kids, plus all of the normal everyday things that must get done in a day.
Normally my day is surrounded with constant worrying caused by a little voice in my head that is always telling me maybe you should go check Cara, that persistent little voice that goes over all those little scenario's over and over in my head all day long with all the what ifs. Really, this voice NEVER SHUTS UP and if you don't listen to him (it's a "he" because "he" reminds me of my son Connor, whom never stops talking either) and something bad does happen and he was right, the guilt that you did not listen or that something else was too important at that very moment when your child needed help will eat you up inside. So you ALWAYS listen to that voice.
But for the past 2 weeks that damn, persistent, annoying little voice was gone....well not totally gone, just quieted down a bit, to the point of a sweet little whisper almost like a the sound of a soft breeze blowing past your ear. A few times he did step up and he screamed at the top of his lungs "STOP PAINTING THAT DAMN WALL NICOLE, YOU FORGOT TO GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER HER LIFE SAVING DOSE OF INSULIN". What can I say he has a way with words. He had to informed me of this short coming after a few meals when we had forgotten to give Cara her insulin......OOPS!!
What can I say we have been very busy!!
BUT I do have to admit that nagging, persistent, annoying little voice has been very helpful many many times, he does come in handy and without his help I'm sure we would not be doing such a good job with Cara. He really does keep me on my toes and keeps me in check...but it was nice to get a little break from that guy because lately he has been driving me nuts!!
I'm sure he will make his way back to the drivers seat very very soon....because after all it is The Ride of our Lives with Type 1 Diabetes :)