Wednesday, December 8, 2010

10 Giant "D" Steps Forward But No One Is Following

You know that saying:
2 steps forward and 1 step back? 
Well for almost 2 years now I have spent my mornings, noons and nights talking and blogging and explaining and advocating and living type 1 diabetes.  All in hopes that one day I will magically wake up and the world around me will finally "Get It".  They will finally understand:

That type 1 diabetes is dangerous
That type 1 diabetes is NEVER "under control"
That type 1 diabetes is a 24 hour 7 days a week disease and 
Cara will NEVER get a break from it 
They will understand 
That insulin is NOT a cure and in order for Cara to have her best chance at a long and healthy life we NEED a CURE
and of course the old FAVORITE, most maddening one of them all 
That there are different types of diabetes and they are all very different from each other 

But as I see it today and for a few days now...they will never "get it" because they don't "live it".  I know that I have made giant leaps in my life and my understanding of T1 because I live this, this is my reality.  In order to keep my daughter safe and healthy I must immerse myself into the D community and try to educate myself, my family and others.  Since I can't lock her up in my house I especially try to share information and educate the people who are sharing the responsibility of caring for Cara like schools,teachers, grandparents,coaches, nurses etc.  

Some days I feel like it all falls on deaf ears.  Some days I feel like I don't want to bother people with today's battles or yesterdays accomplishments because people seem to smile and nod and act like they "Get It" or like they care but when they open their mouths the truth comes out, they just don't.  This is not their faults by any means, some try, they try really hard, others not so much but for today I just feel like I'm doing all this for nothing.  

Today I guess I'm just in a D funk, A funk that some days are so overwhelming and the light at the end of the tunnel has dwindled down to a dual twinkle like the most distant star in the sky.   We all go through it... even the best of us like Reyna, Jen  , Kris and Hallie.

Today I feel like I have taken 10 Giant "D" steps forward
But what good is it if I'm 10 feet away from everyone else?  


Kelly said...

Oh man. I totally feel like ears are deaf lately! I hope soon you get that GIANT leap forward :)

Meri said...

I hear you. How can we make progress when we are on the slippery slope of ignorance all around. I'm sorry friend. I bet that you have made a difference and you just don't see it. It just takes one person to understand, and then they tell someone, and they tell someone. You have worked so hard, don't be discouraged. You may not see the fruits of all your work...but somewhere a seed has been planted!

Wendy said...

You are amazing...I am so proud of you and all the hard work you have poured in to advocating for the T1 community in your area.

I know it feels as though you aren't making progress, but I believe you are.

And I believe in YOU.

Reyna said...

YUP...hello....lady at the ice rink!!! UGH.

Nicole, I get it...I feel it at times too. I actually admire all of your efforts in attempting to attain safe, standardized care for the Type 1s in your school system. You just have to reach the right person with the right words to unlock the vault to understanding. Keep it up. You are a D ROCK STAR.