Me, myself and I

In blogville many of the bloggers are doing "all about them" posts. Since I have read all of them (without commenting on most, sorry but I will try to get back and comment) and enjoyed every second of it I thought that is was only fair to write my own, so here you go some points about me:

1. I am dyslexic, I have struggled my whole life with reading, writing even speaking. I have an unbelievable hard time spelling, I'm always using spell check. Thank GOODNESS for spell check :) I also have a very difficult time reading some days and because of that I'm really not a big fan.

2. I hold and keep grudges, if you hurt me I will not give you a second chance. If you wrong me I will never be able to see you as I did before the wrong.

3. I believe that people can not change the core of who they are.

4. I do believe in karma.

5. I have very thin skin, my feelings are hurt very, very easily and I take everything to heart.

6. I am very emotional, if I'm sad I will cry, if I mad I will cry, if I'm happy I can cry.... tears come very easily for me!! :)

7. I'm a happy, fun loving person. I love to smile and I love to make people laugh.

8. I want to make a difference. I'm not sure how or when but I just feel like there is something bigger for me to do and I hope to find it soon.

9. My kids are my life. I have 6 children that rule my life (not in a bad way) they are everything to me. Every single one of them, even if they where not "planned" I believe all were meant to be on this planet.

10. I love music and I love to dance. I always wished that life had a sound track playing in the back ground as you went along with your day just like in the movies.

11. I will stand up for myself and others if I truly believe in what I'm fighting for. If you are on the other end of this watch out because I can be a real bitch, I will not back down. I once got a lawyer to give me $500 that I believed he owed me, That was a good day!

12. I do not like closed minded people, they frustrated me to no end! There are soooo many reasons why people act, or believe or make the choices that they make and just because you don't understand those reasons does not make the choices, or belief or actions wrong.

13. I love baby bumps but I don't like what they do to a woman's body :)

14. When I play the lottery or a slot machine I really, truly think that I'm going to win and when I lose (because you all know that I will lose) I'm so disappointed and upset.

15. I love going on long car rides, but I do not like to be the one driving.

16. I hate haunting, scary movies with children or ghosts in them. I will not watch them because I do believe in ghosts or spirits which ever you would like to call them and they scare the crap out of me.

17. I do not like to sleep alone, my brain will not shut off with all the what if's.

18. I love to talk in person or on the phone, I could talk all morning, noon and night.

19. I love to eat food, but I hate to cook.

20. I always feel like I could have done better, it is never good enough for me. Bigger, Better, Faster, Stronger.

Dear Type 1 Diabetes

Dear Type 1 Diabetes,

At this time last year you entered our lives. I did not know you and really I had not heard too much about you. You snuck into our lives without notice and lied hiding in wait. Slowly but surely you began to rear your ugly head. You took a 3 year old, active, fun loving, little girl and you made her tired, sluggish and sick. You did not give yourself away too fast, you camouflage yourself so well. You where undetectable to an untrained eye, as you planed the first of what I'm sure were many attacks. Only seeming like a flu that would go away and come back in a few weeks. What I did not know was that this sweet, quiet, shy little girl had an amazing and strong body fighting you every step of the way. You would attack then she would counter, you would attack again and she would match your every step. I really do not know how long this battle went on, but that poor little 3 year old's body just could not keep up with you and on Feb 13th 09 her pancreas was unable to continue this fight. That is when Type 1 diabetes became our new "normal". There was nothing that she could have done, you had consumed her pancreas. You dug your nasty little claws into her and you were not leaving. We do not know where you came from or why you are here but let me tell you something, I will not rest until we find a way to DESTROY you. We will find a cure, but until then you will be fighting me every morning, noon and night. I am the mother of that sweet, amazing, wonderful, brave,tough little girl and you have met your match. I can and I will give Cara everything that she needs to defeat you. You may knock us down but we WILL get right back up and fight you even harder. I will do everything in my power to ensure that you do not take my babes eyes, you will not destroy my little girl's heart, kidneys, or blood vessels and you will not contaminate Cara's feet. I see you now, I know you now and everyday that passes I learn more and more about you. I am watching and I will always be watching and I will be patient and I will wait and I will not give up until we find a cure, we will crush you!!

In extreme hatred

Nicole or better known to you, as Cara's mom

:P~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Support for Children with Diabetes in Ontario School Update #1.....A Response

I was checking my email inbox when I came across this letter from the Honorable Dwight Duncan my MPP. It is in response to the letter that I had just sent him this morning.

First thought is Boy that was very quick, and I'm very impressed. Well done MPP Dwight Duncan, thank you so much for the quick response to my letter.

My second thought, I'm really not sure how politics do their thing. I have never been involved with any kind of political followings but can anyone tell me what this means? I mean is he with us, does he supports and understands our cause to get the support for our T1 kids in our school system. Or did he have one of his "people" read the letter, type a nice e-mail, and that is that and on to the next letter.

Well I guess that I will have to wait and see, I will keep you all posted!


And again thank you Honorable Dwight Duncan, you have at least done more then Oprah and Dr. Oz has in with regard to responding to my letter.

The letter reads

Dear Ms.....

Thank you for your letter of February 11, 2010 expressing your concern with children living with type 1 diabetes in our school system. Please be assured Mr. Duncan has read your concerns and brought this matter to the attention of the Honourable Leona Dombrowski Minister of Education.

Minister Dombrowski will respond to your concerns directly.

Support for Children with Diabetes in Ontario School

If you have been following and reading this blog since September 09 you will know that I and Cara have gone through a lot (to say the least) with our school. Cara started J.K. (Junior Kinder) at the young age of 3 and newly dx with type 1 diabetes. The Ontario school system has absolutely NO support, no legislation, no policy for children with type 1 diabetes.

YES, trust me I know..... how ridiculous!

Some children have no nurses, no one to take their blood sugar through out the day, no one to administer insulin, no one watching for signs or symptoms of hyper or hypoglycemia. All children have no one to administer a life saving dose of glucagon because this is not allowed within the schools. These poor children are all alone with this very complicated and very delicate balancing act of a disease called type 1 diabetes.

Just recently I found a group on facebook called Support for Children with Diabetes in Ontario School Systems. The group was started by a handful of parents that had enough, they wanted more from their school system and they are trying to change the way our Ontario school board treats our type 1 children.

So I joined, I want to be a part of this!!

I have spent 3 long nights trying to compose a letter to my government asking for a change!

Here it is:

My name is Nicole ....... and I am writing to ask for your support in our quest to induce changes within the Ontario school system to provide a safer and healthier environment for children that are suffering from Type 1 diabetes. Currently there is no standardized protocol for the care of these children. In Ontario there are between 7,000-8,000 children under the age of 18 living with Type 1 diabetes. This number is expected to rise 3-5% every year. One quarter of these children are unable to successfully self-manage this disease due to their age, however the Ontario school system is expecting these young children to do so.

These children are living with Type 1 diabetes every day, hour, minute, second of their lives until a cure is found. Every day these children need to ensure that their blood sugar is in a safe and “normal” range to avoid very serious and sometimes deadly symptoms caused by high and low blood sugar levels. Sending these children to schools 5 days a week where the staff are not educated on the signs and symptoms or the dangers of Type1 diabetes, and consequently do not have the ability to help in the case of an emergency, is one of the most stressful and challenging experiences that I, as a parent, deal with.

On February 13^th 2009 my four year old daughter Cara was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes after 3 months of on and off "flu" like symptoms, 4 doctor visits, a significant weight loss, an awful rash on her bottom, constant urinating and unquenchable thirst. She was very sick and had a blood glucose of 53.2 mmols (5mmols is normal). This diagnoses has changed our lives forever.

We, as parents, are pleading for the Ontario school system to adopt a policy, or government legislation that involves standardized care, education and a partnership between the parents and the school to ensure the safety of our children. We are not, in any way, asking the schools to be responsible for managing this disease; this is the responsibility of the parents. However, we need support and assistance from the schools. Management decisions will always come from the parent and the child’s medical team. We need a plan agreed to at the beginning of the year, which can change as necessary throughout the year. This plan needs clear, outlined guidelines and expectations. We would like to model the New Brunswick school system’s 704 policy that was passed in 2008.

Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease. Cara’s pancreas was attacked by her own body and now, because of the destruction of her beta cells, her pancreas does not produce insulin, an essential hormone. It acts as a key, opening the door to the body cells, allowing glucose from the food that we eat to enter and be used to make the energy so vital to the cells’ function.

Children who suffer from Type 1 diabetes are constantly working to find a balance between food, insulin and activity. Blood glucose levels go up and down throughout the day and there are many factors that cause such a change. Children with Type 1 diabetes must be aware of their blood glucose levels using a blood glucose meter frequently. A lancet is used to poke the finger, a drop of blood is placed on a strip inserted in the blood glucose meter giving a blood glucose level and an accurate idea of the steps needed to regain the balance.

One way a child regains the balance is by injecting insulin. In individuals without Type1 diabetes insulin automatically accommodates blood glucose fluctuations. However these children do not produce insulin and they need to administer insulin through injection, insulin pen or an insulin pump. Cara receives four shots of insulin a day, at breakfast, lunch, dinner and bedtime. All food that enters the body of a Type 1 diabetic must be carefully measured or weighed to establish the amount of carbohydrates which are very important to a Type 1 diabetic, however can be very dangerous as well.

There are two immediate consequences of blood sugar imbalance. If the blood sugar level dips too low, the child can become shaky, experience a fast heart beat, start to sweat, become hungry, anxious, nauseated, suffer from a headache, impaired vision, dizziness and irritability. If no sugar is given to that child they may become confused, drowsy, unconscious and or the child may suffer from a seizure. This is called hypoglycemia.

If the blood sugar level climbs too high symptoms of stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, blurred vision, frequent urination, excessive thirst, irritability and fatigue will occur. This is called hyperglycemia and if left untreated it can lead to, unconsciousness, coma, seizures and or ketone production, a byproduct of the body breaking down fats in order to get energy which lead to diabetic ketoacidosis. Diabetic Ketoacidosis is very serious and deadly for children with Type 1 diabetes. Every time a child’s blood sugar fluctuates and is out of safe range irreversible damage is being done to the body. This damage, over time, can lead to blindness, heart disease, kidney problems, amputations, nerve damage, stroke and death.

Type 1 diabetes is a very complicated and complex disease. It requires intense math, cognitive reasoning, a deductive mind and a steady hand. If the delicate equation between food, insulin, activity or blood glucose levels are off, there are disastrous consequences. My question to the Ontario school system is how can a four year old, newly diagnosed Type 1 diabetic child, be expected to take on all of this information and properly care for themselves when, we as parents, have a hell of a time? They need support and we need to make a change.

Please take the time to read the attached New Brunswick school system 704 policy and show your support in our cause by contacting Leona Dombrowsky, Minister of Education. If you would like to meet with me at a later date to discuss our campaign, please feel free to contact me. Again my name is Nicole .......... phone # or you can email me at ........

Sincerely

Nicole .......

www.wecaralot.blogspot.com

Here is a link to read the New Brunswick school system's 704 policy http://www.gnb.ca/0000/pol/e/704AH.pdf

and the Worst D mom award goes to......

Wendy at life with the Coppers you have some competition.

Recently Wendy awarded herself the most distinguished and coveted award for worst D mom, however she had an very unfair advantage THERE WERE NO OTHER NOMINEES.

So today I realized I would have to throw my hat into this category.

Vote Nicole for the worst D mom award.

It all started one snowy early morning, Nicole and her hubby where sound asleep in their bed when all of a sudden they heard a little voice. It was their son Connor telling them to "wake up, wez gowing to be yate for sqool" Yes they had forgotten to set the alarm. They jumped out of bed, well her husband did, Nicole more or less lazily groaned "maybe it will be a snow day" "there is no snow on the ground" her husband replied "get up"! As she very slowly rolled out of bed, almost falling over on her left pajama pant leg she gathered herself and said "ok we can do this".

There was just enough time to eat breakfast, make lunches, get dressed, brush teeth and hair and send the kids out the door to get the bus.

"WOW we did it", Nicole and her husband looked at each other in amazement.

The day processed without a hitch, quiet a nice, and simple day. Pepe (Nicole's dad) came over to bring Kylie to the bus stop and pick Cara up from the bus. On returning to the house Nicole looked at Cara's meter and it read:

7:22am (breakfast) 7.9 (142.2)
9:34am (snack time at school) 21.3 (383.4)
10:29am (bus time at school) 27.1 (487.4)
11:36am (home from school & lunch) 28.4 (511.2)

Wow Nicole thought that is weird, I wonder what happened?? and she began to think of the "person" responsible for these crazy numbers.

Was it the teacher, she must have let her have a special snack.....NO. Was it her husband, he must have given Cara too many carbs at breakfast.....NO. Was it the nurse, she must have not washed Cara's hands when checking her BG#.....NO. Was it Cara, is she getting sick.....NO.

As Nicole's brain scrambled for more people to blame, she had the most curious feeling. She felt the warmth from her checks which were becoming red, she started to feel the blood rushing threw her veins, heart pumping, panicky OMGosh feeling with a head slamming, heart dropping thought..... it was ME! I forgot to give Cara her insulin at breakfast time.

With this thought brewing in her already confused little brain she tried to replay the events of her rushed morning "did I forget or did I give Cara her insulin at breakfast"? and all at once it became very clear...

"IT WAS ME"!!

There was still some hope, the hope that her husband, the father of her children would have remembered Cara's insulin this morning and therefore she would not be deserving of this nomination for the worst D mom award. After all, they are a team!

Her heart still pumping her hands shaky she dialed his number, the phone rang once then twice then it was official, all hope was lost, Nicole was up the the worst D mom award!

So that is the story,

I Nicole sent my little 4 year old Type 1 diabetic to school without any insulin at breakfast time. This is a school that has no trained individuals to help Cara when things go wrong like this. Since I did not receive a phone call when the nurse checked Cara's blood sugar at snack time when her BG # was already high, they also gave her a snack. I had no idea all morning that I forgot until she came home from school. Poor Cara she must have felt so bad, and her poor body, I hate when she is high!!

I'm not sure where you can cast your votes or when the vote will take place or even if there is anyone else that may be on the nominee list. I do know that I will be working on my acceptance speech vigorously .

And to Wendy, watch out lady you have company!!

The big O's and the Dr. without a clue Diabetes episode

OK sooo as we all know Oprah and Dr Oz did a show loosely based on the reality of Diabetes.

First I do have to remind you all that in Dec I wrote the Dr Oz show because I happened to catch his Diabetes episode that I have renamed The Fables of Diabetes.... I was not impressed at all. In this awful episode filled with untruths and misconception about Type 1 Diabetes. He did not once make a distinction between Type 1 or Type 2, it went as far as not even mentioning the terms Type 1 or Type 2 diabetes. He only used the term Diabetes through out the long 15 minutes of the episode that I was able to watch before I had to change the channel enraged because of what they had just aired.

As soon as I heard that Oprah was doing a show with Dr. Oz on Diabetes my heart sank. I knew because of what I had seen in December how this was going to go down. So I wrote this to Oprah on her website.

After watching a long 25 minutes of the Oprah show on diabetes these are my feelings:

I was impressed that Oprah did "TRY" to make a distinction between Type 1 and Type 2. She did "TRY" on 3 different occasions that I saw asking Dr. Oz "is this Type 1 or Type 2", "does this happen with Type 1 or Type 2", "does she suffer from Type 1 or Type 2". Each and every time I got my hopes up Dr. Oz opened his big mouth trying to answer Oprah's questions and nonsense, rambling, uneducated BS (whatever you want to call it) came out. The great Dr Oz did not let me down, I called it and it happened, so many mistakes on so many different levels happened on that show.

I just could not believe and still don't, that a DOCTOR doing a show on DIABETES had no idea what he was talking about, pick up a damn book and do some reading!!

Oprah next time you do a show on Diabetes or any subject for that matter get a REAL expert, that knows what he or she is talking about.

Also the next time you do a show on a topic that you may not have a lot or any experience with, you may also want to pick up a book and do a little reading on the subject. It is YOUR show after all and the next time your "expert" guest has no clue you may have an ounce of one!

and of course I wrote another letter:

Hello Oprah and or producers,
My name is Nicole, I have 6 wonderful Children one of which has Type 1 diabetes. I'm sending you this letter that I wrote for my blog, The Ride of our Lives with Type1 Diabetes for Cara's one year anniversary of her Type 1 diagnoses. I hope that this helps you understand that we need to raise accurate awareness for Type1 Diabetes and let the world know that WE ARE HEAR.

SORRY BLOGGERS I'M SAVING THE LETTER THAT I WROTE FOR CARA'S 1 YEAR D-AVERSARY FOR FEB.13TH POST :( MAKE SURE TO COME BACK AND READ IT THEN!

I just want the world to understand that Type1 is an autoimmune disease, I non Cara did not do anything to cause these awful disease. There is NO CURE for Type 1 diabetes, eating healthy or getting more exercise will not cure my daughter. Cara's pancreas does not and will not produce insulin any longer. Cara must undergo 4 shot of insulin a day and countless finger pokes to try to ensure a healthy life which is never a guarantee. Everything has changed in our life since the diagnosis, it has effective our whole family and we NEED a cure! However it is very hard to find the support when people think that your child will grow out of it, your child needs to run or exercise more and it was your fault that your child is suffering through this disease. Please truly take the time and consider doing an episode on Type 1 Diabetes.

Sincerely
Cara's mom Nicole Cozad

FOOD, FOOD, FOOD and will you just go to bed!

For some of you out there that do not know I have 6 children. What, no I'm crazy..... a least I don't think that I am?? Anywho.....

I have a 12 year old, 8 year old, 5 year old, 4 year old (the T1), 2 year old and an 18 month old,

did I forget everyone??

You can only imagine my house is a mad house, I have kids running all over the place all the time, I have one fight popping up after another (between the kids...of course), I have kids wanting to do this and others wanting to do that, I have mommy this and mommy that, mommy watch me and mommy get that, I have kids constantly wanting something to drink and of course these kids are always asking for food, snacks, when are we going to eat, I am hungry, mom can I just have one, PLLEEEAAAAASSE. FOOD, FOOD, FOOD, FOOD, FOOD!

The way that we have been trained and do Cara's insulin is she has breakfast and a shot of insulin, snack, lunch and a shot of insulin, snack, dinner and a shot of insulin, bed time snack and a shot of long acting insulin.

Very straight forward and easy you would think.

Until you throw 5 other hungry and sometimes starving kids into the mix. They all seem to want to have snacks at very different times and the second you tell one that they can have a snack you have a crowd of screaming kids ALL asking for their snack and this includes Cara.

We have tried to solve this issue with having large amount of "free" foods for Cara that matches what the other kids want to eat. So we will buy two different types of yogurts, regular and "sugar free" or "fat free" . "Free" foods for Cara are basically any foods that are sugar free and/ or have 5 carbs or under. So if the kids ask for a snack at any time that Cara is not scheduled to have a snack I will have the kids eat "their" yogurt and Cara can have her "free" yogurt. But this does not always work out.

We also tried having scheduled snack times for all the kids that matched up with Cara's schedule snack but that always ends up in a fight or a whole lot of tears.

The worst issue that we are having is food that is being left out on counters or tables that Cara knows she can not have but will still sneak it.....of course she is only 4. When the kids pull something out of the cabinets the food never finds its way back where it came from. Before you know it the whole bag of chips are gone and Cara was the one eating them. Sometimes Cara is just a little sneaker and she will sneak off into another room to enjoy a wonderful snack that will cause her blood sugar to sky rocket and cause countless hours of me trying to figure out "what went wrong"? When all along it was the 2year old Christmas chocolate that Kailyn was saving in her room, for God knows what reason?.....but yes Cara decided that she was going to eat it and I spent all day and half the night trying to figure out "what went wrong". Finally when Kailyn went to bed the mystery was solved when see noticed her beloved chocolate kitten's body was half eaten.

What is a mother to do??

On another note since Cara's dx almost one year ago she has had issues with sleeping. It takes her forever to fall asleep. Her bedtime is 8:00-8:30, depending on how long I can put up with her (JOKE) but not really. And she will stay up until 10:30-11:00, it's like her body just can't slow down enough for her to sleep. Does anyone else have this issue??

Oprah and Dr.Oz ....cross your fingers!

Well I did it again, I wrote a letter to the Oprah show, maybe this time I will get answered? HA hmmmm Dr Oz, still waiting on your response to my letter??

If you have not heard Oprah and Dr.Oz are doing a show on Diabetes Thurs Feb 4th on the Oprah show, called America's Silent Killer. The combination of the name, Dr. Oz's last show on diabetes and the fact that a nutritionist and an exercise guru will be making an appearance does not give me much hope that they are going to even touch the topic of Type 1. Worst then that I'm not even sure that the distinction and differences between Type 1 and Typ2 will be discussed. All just adding to the very frustrating and head bounding against the wall feeling that all the misconceptions and misinformation are causing me.

So without further ado here it is my comment to Oprah,

Oprah and Dr.Oz I have recently been informed of your show on diabetes and it made my stomach turn. I am a mother of 6 wonderfully crazy children and on Feb 13th 09 our world was turned upside down. My 4 year old daughter Cara was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in an ER room, after 3 months of on and off "flu" like symptoms, 4 doctor visits, a weight lose drop that brought her back to her previous 24 month baby weight, an awful rash on her bottom, constant peeing and unquenchable thirst. She was very sick and had a blood glucose of 53.2 mmols (957 U.S.A measurement), all four previous doctors missed diagnosed her. Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease, it is not caused by eating too much sugar, or lack of exercise. There was nothing that we did to cause or could have done to prevent this disease from causing havoc on our little daughters body. Cara NEEDS 4 shots of insulin and countless finger pokes every single day of her life to manage and LIVE with this disease and she will do this over and over until they find a cure. As of right now there is NO cure for Type 1 Diabetes. More exercise or eating the RIGHT kinds of foods is not a cure for Type 1 diabetes. In December 09 I wrote Dr Oz to express my deep frustration I felt after watching his show on Diabetes, he only reinforced all the misconception for T1. I just pray that you make the distinction between the two and start informing your viewers. Type 1 needs clarification and understanding. Please HELP

This would have been much longer but I was confined to only 1500 characters. If you would like to share you opinion or beg her to send out the proper and right and real information about diabetes you can send it here. I did have to sign up to her site but I figured after the episode aired another letter will be written and sent to her again. Sooo why not sign up??

The count down

The count down has started, Cara's one year anniversary of her T1 dx is nipping at our heals. On February 13th 09 I brought my 3 year old daughter into the ER after 3 months of on and off sickness and 4 different doctors visits with no dx.

There is so many mixed emotions running through my head, I really don't understand why I'm feeling the way I feeling or really how I'm feeling. Boy I think this may even more complicated the T1?! lol

I feel proud of myself and my family for making it this far (one whole year) and really I think that we have done a great job, not a perfect job but a great job.

I feel amazed at the way Cara has handled this past year, it truly is overwhelming how brave and tough she is. Not ever looking back and just living in the now. Let me tell you these T1 kids are just amazing.

I feel frustrated with the lack of information and the huge amount of misinformation about Type 1 Diabetes. I feel like I'm always explaining our lives and it goes in one ear and out the other, IF I'M LUCKY!

I feel blessed to have met all these people, ALL the AMAZING, LOVING, CARING, UNDERSTANDING (the list goes on and on) people that I have met because of T1.

I morn for what Cara's life could have been.

I feel guilty for not understand what was going on inside Cara's little body and taking sooo long before we got the diagnosis, she was very, very sick.

I feel sad that Cara MAY have to live the rest of her life with T1 Diabetes.

I feel unbelievably grateful that Cara will LIVE the rest of her life even if it is with T1 Diabetes. Some parents are not so lucky to say that their child will have a full and long life and I count my blessings each and every day for this.

I feel silly that T1 makes my heart hurt.

I feel exhausted because of the constant worrying, T1 is truly a 24/7 disease and the worrying never stops.

I feel hatred because I HATE Type 1 Diabetes!

I feel loss because I miss Cara's pancreas, it might sound funny to miss someone else's organs but I'm just not as good as her pancreas was and I miss that darn thing tremendously.

I feel confused ALL the time, I'm always seconded guessing myself and crossing my fingers that I have figured all Cara's insulin to carb amount right.

I feel annoyed that I'm not better in math.

I feel overwhelmed taking care of 6 kids and one being T1.

I feel hopeful for a cure.

I feel understood because you all get it. Thanks for reading :)