The graphs that we see from the CGM are amazing and very informative...quite mind blowing actually.
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| right after dinner and insulin was given |
I could sit and watch it for hours, sooooo cool!!
The sense of security that I feel knowing that if Cara's blood sugar goes too low or too high an alarm will sound...WONDERFUL!
The fact that at any moment I can take a peak and see what direction Cara's blood sugar is heading is just amazing.
I'm so thankful that we have this amazing tool to better Cara's care and help us in her fight to live with type 1 diabetes.
However something is bothering me, something keeps haunting me when seeing this great technology hooked up to my Cara. I don't think that it is a negative thing, it's just something that we have not dealt with yet on our T1 journey.
Cara is and will be attached to a little machine, called a pump for life.
This machine is amazing, doing something that her body can no longer do. Maybe that is were the problem lies. Every time I look at my daughter now, the first thing I see is this little machine. This machine that is working because something in her is not. I love everything this machine does, don't get me wrong. I just don't like the reason why Cara needs to wear this device, and every time I look at her now I feel like it is being thrown in my face. We are still on injections, we have been for almost 2 years now. We take her blood sugar, we eat, we give her insulin and tuck everything away nicely until we need all the "T1" TOOLS again ( I know it really is not that simple but you get what I'm saying). The pump, it is ALWAYS THERE, it is ALWAYS CONNECTED, It is ALWAYS NEEDED and I will have to deal with that...in time!
Understand I'm in NO way saying that we are not going to be pumping as soon as we can. This is in no way saying that I'm not grateful that there is something that can closely do the job of a pancreas that is not doing it's job. It is just something that I have to get use to, something that I have to work through. Soon I know I will look at Cara and see her for the wonderful, brave, adorably funny little girl that she is but right now all I see is that machine.
(I hope I did not offend anyone using the term machine, my husband thought it was a little strong)
12 comments:
We're still doing injections and leaning toward using the same CGM and pump that your using so I'm very intereted in hearing your opinions. I totally agree that these are great tools to have for our kiddos, but hadn't really thought about being attached to a machine for life. Hopefully it will be an easy adjustment. :)
PS.
I'm loving the font on your page! How do you change it?
Deanna, it's just in the advanced design tools of blogger templates in your dashboard.
We really do LOVE the CGM, btw!!it is really amazing!!
Isn't your blog looking FAB?? Love the cool fonts!
I completely understand what you are feeling. I was very torn when we were about to start pumping. The BIGGEST reason was just what you have described - the being attached 24/7. We are over that now and very grateful for all that our "machine" does:) Have you seen a picture of the very first insulin pumps? Try carrying that around with you!!
I totally understand. Its like D is in your face more so than usual which my god is that even possible!?
With mdi we had our kit and took it out when needed now its there staring at us all the time. But the good do outweigh the bad. Still not easy. Great post and not offended at all!
We just started with a CGM, too, and I love having it as a safety net! This "machine" seems easier to me than a pump -- though we'll probably end up with one of those eventually, too. I guess you take the bad with the good! Nice to meet you, by the way. Our family is not quite as big as yours, but close!
I love the fonts too!! So cute!! I understand. this is the main concern I have with any of them. They arent ready to pump or CGM Joshua yet but we hope to get there for the knowledge one day too!
Oh I know exactly how you're feeling. I felt the same way leading up to Kai going on the pump. I cried for days leading up to it.
We are almost 12 months in & it's wonderful. I still shed a tear occasionally - especially when i go in at night and see it attached to his little body.
CGM looks great though. Glad your loving it!! xx
YAHOO!!!!! Love that you're lovin' the CGM ... and check you out with you snazzy font up in this joint !!!
I do remember a time that it bothered me to see machines hooked up...but...now when I see her without her pump, it bugs me even more!!!
BTW, I definitely think you should have gone with paraphernalia, contraption, or apparatus...they're so much more warm and fuzzy :)
I sobbed and sobbed the day Isaac went to get his pump started. It was such a difficult moment. I KNEW it was the best choice for him and our family, but it was sooo hard. My sister-in-law really helped me through it. Just four months prior her daughter had to have her foot amputated and had to get a prosthetic leg. She understood the foreverness feeling. She heard my fears. And then she said, "BUT you know it's for the best for Isaac." That was it. She was right.
I'm thankful you've gotten the chance to use the CGM and I hope eventually you figure out what is just right for your family.
I fully understand! It was my biggest hurdle to getting the pump for Addison. Like Sarah, I cried up a storm when we went to start the pump. Strangely enough, from the moment it was on Addison and working though, it was kind of like it wasn't there. Or maybe that it was just so much a part of him that I didn't notice it. And I still don't most of the time..and when I do, I am just really happy that it is there making our lives a little easier!! Good luck! And nice fonts btw1
We have been pumping for five years and she has toyed with the idea of taking off the pump for a period of time. This could very easily be done by giving a Lantus shot to cover her lowest or "baseline" insulin basal of just under one unit per hour (she's a teen). The pump could remain off her body and put in her purse for bolus and corrections. We would probably have to reconnect only for the problem hours of 5 thru midnight and put on perhaps at 3am if she is having dawn phenom or any time she needs more basal than Lantus will cover. Bolus insulin can cover this, though, all day long, and even for a few hours after dinner. Untethered works well if used on a semi-continuous basis, takes a few days for Lantus to build up correctly so not really good for a one-day thing, sugars would probably be off if using untethered just for one day, I think. Theoretically, you can use pump therapy and you don't REALLY have to be attached if you don't want to be.
Nicole - I get it. I really do! I can't imagine Ellie on a pump or CGM and that alone tells me we are not ready. The whole 'machine' thing just messes with my mind. I know it will all eventually HELP Ellie keep a tighter control and provide great information, but I just don't want to have to look at it :(.
I pray I will get over this selfishness.
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