I have brown hair and brown eyes and he has blond hair and blue eyes...this is a GOOD thing because our kids are adorable and each and everyone have the best eyes EVER.
I love to talk and well, not to be rude, but he would rather not...great thing! I control the conversation in any setting.
I OVER REACT a lot, especially when my kids are sick, he is very laid back and a "lets wait and see" kind of guy...GOOD thing, or I would be on a first name basis with all the nurses in the ER with my very own loony toon mommy seat.
I'm fast in my actions, I listen to the rules, always muti-tasking, doing 2 things while thinking about 10 other things, always one step ahead of the game. Him...not so much! This is a HUGE problem...it drives me nuts, NOT a good thing.
When you are so opposite and something goes bad just like what happened with Cara and the build up of ketones you start looking at the actions of the other and thus starts the blame game.
On Sunday, my husband got up with the kids, I hate mornings and he hates getting up in the night...GOOD thing,we trade off. So he let me sleep in, however he also let a sick Cara lie on the couch because she was not feeling well. She did not want to eat, so no fast acting insulin and no long acting insulin either. Why? you ask, because his mind was focused on 1 thing and 1 thing only... a Sunday breakfast for 8. I'm sure that all the kids were screaming and fighting, some crying others asking questions, telling story's, lots of singing and dancing all while trying to make breakfast. I know there would have been a dog whining the whole time that needed to go out and a sleeping wife upstairs.
Have you every tried to think in a house like this, I have and it's crazy!!
His mind was not focused on what would have been MY #1 priority... a sick type 1 who needs insulin. Actually breakfast would have been close to last on my priority list and because we are complete opposite breakfast was 1st on his to do list. I can prioritize quiet well,thank you very much!! him not so much... BIG PROBLEM, because it drives me nuts...NOT a good thing!
The first things out of my mouth after I felt we had dealt with what needed to be done for Cara...insulin, long and fast acting, water, water and more water, check for ketone and a puke bucket was
WHY WOULD YOU LET HER LIE HERE LIKE THIS?
WHY WOULD YOU NOT THINK SOMETHING NEEDED TO BE DONE?
I totally felt like this was ALL HIS FAULT, blame, blame, blame... and the relationship destroying game was on.
I was furious the whole day with thoughts of IF ONLY I had gotten up I would have done this, and I would have done that, I wish people around here would pay more attention and put a little more effort into things and we would not be in this predicament.
Soon the blame game begins to take it to a whole other level, it has a way of taking all your PAST marital issues and compacting them all into this one small event...NOT A GOOD THING! and only in a few small words you and your spouse are comparing and tallying up everything that you have done for that child in the last little while...THAT IS NEVER A GOOD THING!
If you let it, this blame game can and will destroy a marriage!
Sometimes I may feel like I carry the heavier load in this partnership but once I take a step back and look at the whole picture, I see we both carry the heaviest loads of the things that we are great at. It is not him against me, it's them against us! and without this team work I would have total and utter chaos in my life.
People make mistakes, they make poor judgment calls (especially when you don't agree on those calls) but how do I know? it may have went down the exact same way if I was the one who woke up that morning. Actually without him around to calm me down or to reassure me we were doing the right thing for Cara and the ketones it could have gone a lot worse!!
I just know I would have done it completely opposite...and who know if that is a GOOD thing?
GO TYPE 1 ASS KICKING TEAM!!
6 comments:
WELL...I CAN SAY..."SAME-SAME"!!! And this happens quite a bit when diabetes comes into play...happened a few weeks ago when Joe got sick.
Love the way you adressed this. I bet this is a common thread with many of us. xoxo
SO common! My husband is not at all laid back and his "excitment" drives me NUTS!!!
I love the way you wrote this :)
So glad you were able to move past the blame and realize your individual input and value. This post is so open and honest. I'm sure many D'rents can relate!
oh yeah, i hear ya! im full time pancreas. my hubby is part time pancreas (side kick) when he feels like it. he defers to me on all things diabetes to make sure we concur!
now add into the mix the husband having t1d and him knowing EVERYTHING about it making his decisions even more skewed...oye, it's rough some days around here. But, like you said together we're a pretty kick ass team at it all (if I don't mind saying so myself!)
Thanks for sharing so candidly about a point I think is often brushed under the rug while caring for a child with t1d.
I love honest posts - - - this is so honest and raw! I totally understand! Same!
XOXOX
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