Kylie is in bed with the flu, the poor kid can't even move...she feels so sick. For two hours last night she lied lifeless watching t.v. on the hard wood floor in the family room because she knew any movement would send her running for the toilet.
She has had dark circles under her eyes for days now,
she has not been her cheerful, helpful self recently. She has been very cranky and short tempered
she is extremely tired, she is just whipped out and sleeping constantly
and yesterday the dreaded vomiting started
and the second that started that little voice which is stuck in the far reaches of my head, that stupid little voice that is constantly looking for ANY signs of type 1 diabetes in my non-D kids started making his way louder and louder to the fore front of my reality.
"Maybe it is type 1 diabetes" he said over and over and over again in my head. I tried as hard as I could to shut out that damn broken record knowing that not all the signs are there, knowing that I was 99.9 % sure that she just has a tummy bug but that loud mouth little bugger is straight up persistent with his .1%.
The only way that I knew to stop him was to prove it!!
And how does one go about this you ask?
Well it is as simple as a blood sugar check and in 5 seconds with a 5.1mmols reading the voice retreated back to his tiny hole in the very depths of my brain...still there (of course) but easily drained out with the booming noises of every day life.
Just waiting for the next time Cody asks me for another juice after his second cup in row,
Just waiting for the next time I see Kirstin running for the bathroom 1 too many times for my liking,
Just waiting for another flu, another super hungry kid, another growth spurt, just waiting to drive this mom of 6 crazy with the thoughts of another diagnoses. So I'm sorry kids for all the unneeded picks but it's the only way I can stop that voice and keep me from going nuts with worry...until the next time.
I know that this annoying and relentless thought for me has become reality for many of you and that just breaks my heart. I think of you often and how strong and amazing each and everyone of you and your children are.