We Hope, We Believe, We Walk...

I have been getting ready for our 2011 JDRF walk recently.  This year our walk in on Sunday June 12th, the same day as Kylie's 7th birthday.  This is a very stressful and emotional time for me.  The emotions that I go through every year is overwhelming to say the least.  Every year I go from amazing highs to drowning lows to felling overwhelming love.  

If you think getting a walk team together is an easy task think again, but every year I do it and I would not have it any other way.

The fact that I'm raising money that will affect my daughter's life is mind blowing and a little much to handle at times.

The fact that people, our family and friends will stop their lives and support us to make sure Cara's life is as wonderful and long as it should be is simply uplifting.

The fact that strangers will give us money to support our cause is well, shocking to say the very least but wonderful.


The fact that designing and creating our walk t-shirts and walk video is just plan fun!  Making sure that everyone has their shirts and they are all the right size on walk day is very time consuming and nerve racking.

The fact that every time I get an email from the JDRF saying I received a new donation is completely exhilarating.

The fact that I feel like I'm "DOING" something to kick "D" in the balls is wonderful but I do put a lot of pressure on myself to do it right and hard.

The fact some people still don't understand the need to raise funds for a cure for type 1 diabetes is bewildering.


The fact that people, friends, family and total strangers will be all in one area all at one time and all walking and working together for one goal makes everything totally worth it.

The back of our t-shirts

BUT BOY, DO I FEEL EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED!!

There Is No Sharing With Type 1 Diabetes

Sharing is one of the first and foremost important lessons a parent teaches their child.  However when that child has type 1 diabetes this lesson needs a little tweaking.

Today Cara learned that every rule has an exception.  Most of the time sharing is great, it causes harmony in our house.  I'm always telling the kids to share...but NOT when it comes to food.  EVERYONE in the house knows that Cara's food is Cara's food period!

Today at lunch I was muti-tasking, cleaning the kitchen while taking orders for lunch.  Both Cody and Kirstin wanted a sandwich, Cara wanted a bagel...no problem.

Cara is the fastest eater I have ever seen, that kid can finish off a plate before I can...she is that fast.  If you ever see this kid in a eating contest put your money on her, she will make you rich.

So anyways, before I had the chance to finish cleaning up the kitchen Cara was done, with a funny smile.  She informed me that she shared a little with Kirstin.  How weird is that I thought to myself.  First Kirstin and Cara really do not do anything nice for each other however they have been playing very nice today together.  So maybe, but I really did not believe it.

"So how much did you give her?" I said "Oh, just two bites" Cara replied.

So no biggie right...Wrong, I guess those two bites were jammed packed with all the carbs from Cara's lunch because 30 minutes before it was time to check her for pm snack time.  She came tripping over to me "MOOOOOM I'm Loooow" and falls to her knees. 

To top it all of Cara had been playing in water, so her hands were all pruny and wrinkled and wet and it was nearly impossible to get a good size blood bubble without it running down the lines of her wrinkled fingers. 

Frustrating to say the least!!

3 tries and 5 seconds later...3.6mmols

YUCK!!  and Good catch Miss Cara, but I'm still trying to figure out what in the hell she did with her bagel? because I know my math was not off...this time!!!    

A Parents Emotional Reaction To Finding Out Their Child Has Type 1 Diabetes

Last night I attend a JDRF mentor training program.  I was asked by our diabetes clinic if I would be interested in becoming a mentor for parents of newly diagnosed children or parents that have children with type 1 diabetes and just need someone to talk to.

Of course I wanted to see what this was all about :)  Funny thing is, you put 13 very vocal parents of T1's all talking about T1 in a room and you will be there for a very LoOoOoOg time.

On that night I received this form titled:

A Parents Emotional Reactions To Finding Out Their Child Has Type 1 Diabetes.
(I'm not sure who wrote this or were it came from so unfortunately I cannot give credit were it is due) 

DISBELIEF:  Disbelief is usually everyone's first reaction.  How can this be? You may have an urgent need for certainty.  Is the doctor sure?  Can the tests be done again? Maybe my child will prove them wrong?  My child/teen has been doing too much, she/he will get better.

DISMAY and SADNESS: Usually follow confirmation of the diagnosis.  Grieving for the pre-diagnosis days is natural, especially as you begin to learn all about diabetes management: insulin, blood glucose monitoring, meal planning.  How will we ever manage it all? 

FEAR and ANGER:  How can this diagnosis be and why?  Was there something we could have done to prevent this?  Is there something we weren't told by our family doctor or our public health officials?  Is it something in the environment?  How will diabetes change our lives?  What effects will it have on our child's long-term health?  Why us?

BLAME:  When many people receive unwelcome news they begin to blame others for it, even close family members.  Blaming is a frantic, irrational attempt to find answers to this unbelievable news.  Some might say "Well, it's not from our side of the family" or other may say "If only you hadn't been feeding the kid so much sugar, this wouldn't have happened".  Some can even use religious or other beliefs and say such things as "If you had stayed in your religious community, this would not have happened".  The common thread in all of these "blaming statements" is that each person is coping with feelings of shock and  dismay by blaming the easiest person to blame-themselves.  Once the family-including grandparents,  aunts and uncles, siblings, and even family friends-have all the information,  everyone will be able to see how blaming doesn't really help.

FEARS of RETRIBUTION/PUNISHMENT:  Some families have strong beliefs about a diagnosis of diabetes being a form of "punishment" for something the family and /or child has done wrong.  Such beliefs can be overwhelming.  Diabetes can occur in any child at any time and is NOT in any way a punishment for anything.

GUILT:  Another powerful emotion that is experienced by the family is guilt.  It is a form of self-blaming that seems to occur naturally when we are in crisis.  What did I/we do wrong?  This could be especially true if parents have type 1 diabetes themselves.  About 5% of kids newly diagnosed with diabetes DO have a parent or sibling with diabetes.  The key is to focus on how your knowledge of living with diabetes will help your child learn to live with it too!  A sibling may also experience guilt and thing that she/he "caused" the diabetes.  Parents will need to reassure them that it is not their fault that their brother or sister got diabetes.

Many of these emotional reactions I remember going through at Cara's diagnoses and a few emotional reactions that are not on this list but the most important thing that anyone can do is make sure you get the support that you need to make it through these feelings.

The Accu-Chek Mobile...1st video vlog!

• 50 tests on 1 cassette
• 6 lancets in a single drum
• No single test strips to handle and nothing to dispose of after each test
• Small 0.3 µl blood sample size
• 500 test memory plus 7, 14, 30 day averages
• Data download to use with Microsoft® Excel® and Accu-Chek data management software
• No coding

Thank you for watching my first video Vlog, I promise to work on all the UMMMM's.  I hoped you like it!  I just wanted to write out some other points that I forgot to mention.

First the Accu-Check Mobile is able to "talk" to your computer through infrared Data Association.  Through a standard infrared window permitting wireless transfer of the results to a suitable equipped computer, PDA or to special analysis systems.  My computer does not have this so I have not tried to download these graphs and information that is available.

Second the Accu-Check takes AAA batteries which is really nice.  The One Touch uses watch batteries and I NEVER have extra ones lying around.  AAA batteries with 6 kids you always have those around!!

For more information about the Accu-Chek please see THEIR WEBSITE

and you also can check our what Hallie thought over at The Princess and The Pump

Reflections On What Should Have Been A P.J. Monday

It started out just as I like every Monday to start out...shoving Kailyn, Connor, Kylie and Cara out the door to the bus to spend the day at school.  I was left in my semi clean house, Oh, how I love a clean house it makes everything alright.  The world could be falling out from under me but as long as the house is clean I'm good.  Anyways, I was in my semi clean house with only the two little ones with me Cody and Kirstin and I was looking forward to a simple and quiet P.J. Monday when I had to mess it all up!

Why? because for some unknown reason I just had to look in Kirstin's ear and what did I find?  Well I had no idea what I had found but I knew whatever it was it should not been there!

So I called my husband to tell him he would have to leave work to take Kirstin to the clinic because I was super busy trying to have a P.J. Monday...Well he was not too impressed!! and that was the end of my plans!!

So I got Kirstin dressed and did her hair, gave Cody a bath and got him dressed, had a shower threw the do up in a pony tail and I was off, Oh I did get dressed too...hahaha.

So as I was leaving I looked at the time, 12:01pm and I quickly thought to myself if I had Cara with me a whole lot more planing would have to go into this quick trip to the clinic.  Lunch would have to be made, insulin would have to be administered, meter and supplies would have to be packed, I would of needed snacks and juice for lows and water and "free" snacks just in case she got hungry while we were waiting.  Thankfully Cara was at school today, but on these days she is not with me I seem to always remember how simple and free life use to be without T1 but today it just hit a little harder.

When we arrived to the clinic the Dr. took a look and asked if we would wait until the pediatrician got there because he was unsure if this was a foreign object or a growth in her ear.  Whatever it was it was pink and really did look like it could be attached to her ear.  I however was not concerned because I'm always cleaning wax out of my kids ears (I HATE EAR WAX) and I had not seen this before.

So we waited, however now it was 1:10pm and my little ones were hungry and getting quite tired, a quick run to McDonald's solved 1 of 2 issues and it was soon time to see the pediatrician.  As he was going through our family history he asked "any chronic illnesses in your family"?  "Yes", I said "Kirstin's older sister has type 1 diabetes".  He stopped, looked straight at me and said "I'm sorry, how old is she?"

In that moment my world stood still for a brief second not because he said I'm sorry but because he really meant it.  A meek, thank you made it's hesitant way out of my mouth and as he continued to check over Kirstin I just could not stop thinking about what he said.

I don't think anyone has every said that to me about Cara's diagnoses.

Of course when she was in the hospital when she was diagnosed peopled seemed to say "I'm sorry" but I really don't think that they understood what it was that they were "sorry" about.

Sorry that we were in the hospital
Sorry that our lives were interrupted for what they seemed to think would be a short period of time
Sorry that Cara was so sick

But really, truly they had NO idea and neither did we.

Besides that day, people just don't really seem to say "I'm sorry to hear that" when they find out Cara is a type 1.  Usually I get a "Oh ya" or a "how is she going with that" but never a true heart felt "I'm sorry".

It was very refreshing and affirming to hear and feel a true and heart felt "I am sorry".  In that minute I felt understood in a world of confusion.  I still can't stop thinking about it.

Oh and by the way my dear Kirstin did shove something pink inside her ear...why? I have not a fricken clue all I know is that my P.J. Monday will have to wait.

Dependency, Differences and Lurker of PWD's...Day 6, What I Have Learned

Bitter~Sweet D blog week day 7: What we’ve learned - What have you learned from other blogs - either this week or since finding the D-OC? What has your experience of blogging the DBlog Week topics with other participants been like? What has finding the D-OC done for you? If you'd like, you can even look ahead and tell us what you think the future holds!

So here we go...

1.  I have learned that I depend on blogger and this blog a lot more then I thought.  I mean, I knew that I had a "problem" but I did not know that it was this big of a "problem".  If you don't know BLOGGER was down a few days ago.  There was NO writing posts and on this same exact day blogger was down I had a shitty "D" day at the Endo.  Usually a shitty "D" day has me running to my computer and sharing my shit ass story, "blogging it out" as I call it and receiving some love and support in the form of comments.  On this day I was unable to do this...and I was sooo lost!!

Oh ya, and I cried about it too!!  Really...tears were shed because of this!!  Ya, it was just that kind of day!!

2.  This week showed my just how different we all are and what a wonderful thing that is.  Just think over 100 bloggers all blogging about diabetes all blogging about the same exact topic every day for a week, sounds pretty monotonous doesn't  it?  You would think you would hear the same story over and over again BUT guess what? You would be dead WRONG!  Each and every one of us had our own special and unique spin on the same topics...truly amazing and inspiring!

3.  I realized I still feel awkward commenting on PWD blogs.  I don't know why this is?  I love reading and learning and laughing with all the PWD bloggers, I really do and I read your blogs ALL THE TIME, buuuuut I have trouble commenting.  Some days I get just enough courage to write my comment but I then panic and freeze when it comes time to press that damn button.  So I guess you can call me a lurker, also a new term that I have learned this week.  I feel like if I were to comment you (PWD's) would read it and be like "who the hell is this Nicole and why is she mucking up my comment section? I don't know why I think this but just know that I am reading and I loving your blogs.

Thank you Karen From Bitter~Sweet for another wonderful D blog week!!
   

It's Time To Wake Up Pictures.

Bitter~Sweet D blog week day 6: Saturday snapshots - let’s snap a few more d-related pictures and share them again.

I decided to look back at my night last night in pictures....

This is my brain

 AND

 This is the alarm clock that is trying to wake up my brain

This is my daughter Cara who has type 1 diabetes

She is the reason why the alarm clock is trying to wake up my brain to do a blood sugar check in the middle of the night.

HOWEVER, FOR SOME REASON UNBEKNOWNST TO ME, RECENTLY MY BRAIN IS NOT GETTING THE MESSAGE!

reenactment of last night.

So as you see last night my alarm clock did go off, and I DID wake up (this time) but for the life of me I could NOT figure out what the hell the noise was.  I was pissed, I tossed and turned and flipped and twisted trying to fall back asleep and purposely ignoring that damn noise.

It just would not stop and I could not figure out why or what the noise was?!?! as the minutes and peeeeping continued the madder and madder I got... 

So I did what any concerned parent of a type 1 would do....I yelled at my husband while tapping the crap out of him to wake up and "Stop that F@CKING noise...NOW!" Once the peace and quiet was restored I went back to sleep!!

WHAT?!?! was there something else that I was suppose to be doing??

NICE, REAL NICE...ehhh?

p.s. Cara's blood sugar was 5.0mmols (90) this morning :) lucky me!!

Dblog Week Day 4...There Has To Be Something!?!? Ummmm...

Bitter~Sweet D Blog Week, day 5:  Awesome Things: 

What awesome thing have you (or your child) done BECAUSE of diabetes?

Ummmmmmm...let me think about this one for a while...

What positive thing....

ahhhh something good about diabetes,errrrrr???


There has to be s.o..m.e..t..h.i..n.g.?!?!


RIGHT, GOT IT!!
 

Well your looking at it :)

It's this blog and YOU!!  First there is NO way in hell I would ever have the courage to just one day wake up and start a blog if T1 did not force me to find some support and sense in this world.  Begin someone who has dyslexia blogging, writing, reading and getting my point across does not come easy...so blogging was a huge jump for me.  But because of diabetes I needed it more then the embarrassment of spelling a word wrong or subbing the totally wrong word for what I'm trying to say (spell check can only help soooo much:)   I'm very proud of myself for blogging!
 

If type 1 diabetes did not bash it's way into our lives 2 years ago I would have NEVER even know any of you existed.  Is that not crazy, can you even imagine life without me and The We CARA Lot Blog?!?!  Mind blowing isn't it! and I could not think about our lives without all of you in it.

you are there to celebrate our triumphs
you are there when I need a shoulder to cry on
you make me laugh
and we have cried
you help me when I'm stumped
and you lifted me up when I'm down

With out you in our lives I would be LOST! you are what is awesome about type 1 diabetes.

For Cara I think the one positive thing that has come out of T1 is the attention she gets.  Before her diagnoses Cara was what you would call lost in our family.  Kailyn was the oldest, Connor was my only boy (until Cody came along 7 years later) Kylie is the type of kid that can walk in a room and the whole room turn's in amazement of her red hair and crazy blue eyes and Kirstin, well Kirstin was the most adorable baby EVER.  Cara was shy and lost in a sea of siblings.  Diabetes has given her the attention that this little fire cracker needed and deserved without the shitty disease!!  

Oh, and a really awesome thing that I'm quiet proud of and of course I did not do it on my own but with a wonderful, passionate group of parents in our area was getting a great policy but in place in our school system for our children with type 1 diabetes.  This policy was just finalized and passed last week and actually the school board decided to create a policy for all children with chronic diseases not just type 1 diabetes.

That was pretty cool!! frustrating at times, time consuming but I did get to use my bitchiness to good use and now our kids are just a little bit more safe when in our school system.

Now if we could only get something province wide...that would be beyond awesome!!

Diabetes In Ontario Schools


Oh and I hope my 10 things I hate about you post if found because I had NO problem writing that post!!  Please blogger find my DAMN POST!!  PLEASE!!

The 10 Things I Hate About You

Day 4 of Bitter~Sweet Dblog Week:  10 things I hate about you...

Ya, that's right type 1 diabetes I'm talking to you!!

1.  I hate that you have taken away my control, we listen to only you now.

2.  I hate that you have made the one time that I can get my family all together (meal time) into a frustrating chore.

3. I hate that you have made me powerless against your disease, I can't "fix" it my special magical mommy powers.   I can't take it all away with a great big kiss and a wonderful tight hug.

4.  I hate that you have made bedtime/nighttime a terrifying time that haunts every parent's dreams.

5. I hate that you hurt.

6. I hate that people do not understand you like I know you.

7.  I hate that you have infected your way into every aspect of Cara's life.

8.  I hate that you are winning, there is NO cure.

9.  I hate that you are unpredictable and you don't play by your own rules.

10.  I hate that one day Cara may not like herself because you are a part of her, or one day you may wear this brave, strong, tough little girl down so much that she will not want to "deal" with you any longer, BUT MOST OF ALL I HATE that one day she may learn first hand of your destructive power.

I REALLY JUST HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU...but I'm sure you already know that!!

You Have The Wrong Kid and A Short Video...Day 3 of D blog week

D Blog Week: Day #3
Diabetes Bloopers: Go ahead and share your Diabetes Bloopers.

Diabetes Bloopers happen a lot here.  From my 2 year old non-diabetic asking if he is high or low before he eats, to looking at peoples faces after I yell across the room to my husband "Cara is really high right now" and even testing the wrong kid.  Type 1 has given us some reasons to laugh...I guess not if you were the kid that was poked for no good reason...but you get my drift.

Unfortunately for my kids this house is filled with tiny little fingers that are just ready to be poked.  Most of my kids have learned that when it comes to blood sugar check time no fingers are safe in this house.  Don't look at me like that...in my defense at this young age their fingers look all the same!!

Mostly it's Kirstin's and Cody's little pinkies that this happens to, the older kids are smart enough to run and hide the little ones, not so much,  all they know is food is coming soon so they seem to be drawn in by that.  I don't know how many times in the last 2 years I have mistakenly check my non-diabetic kids blood sugar getting ready for a snack or meal.  Usually the only reason that I clue in is when they say ouch or cry.  Cara does not complain when I check her blood sugar...but my little babies do.  Although this may sound a little sad now, it is really kinda funny to me.

Now for a real blooper.
Recently I was asked to make a video talking about Cara's diagnoses while holding a picture of Cara.  So I set up my camera, I had a few do overs and this may have been about my 5th cut.  I walked over to the camera to press record and walked back to my seat with the picture frame of Cara in my hands when....

   

The darn glass on the picture frame went flying and smashed on the floor.  If you listen closely you can hear my husband yelling at me in the back ground "what the hell did you do" lol

To Whom May Be Looking For Some Balance

Day 2 of dblog week: Write a letter...

To whom may be looking for some balance,

Balance... funny word really,  or maybe, more a loaded word then anything.

Can anyone really find "balance" in their lives?  I feel life is more a "get and take" and don't for one second think that these will balance each other out.  Sometimes there may be a lot more taking then getting but once you start getting, hold on to that feeling because God only knows when it is coming back.

I have seen many peeps around these parts trying to explain that finding a balance is the way to live your best diabetes filled life.  But how exactly is it that we find this balance?   


Balance was the word that I thought would save us when Cara was diagnosed.  Finding that balance seemed to be the answer to all my diabetic problems and unanswered questions.   The nurses kept on saying to us "Cara will be fine, it is all about finding that balance between food, exercise and insulin"

Wow, what I would  do to see that kind of balancing act in my house!

They even had a picture, food on one side, insulin on the other and of course balancing each other out all on a fulcrum of exercise.  I guess there was no room on that paper for hormones, growth spurts, illnesses, excitement, body temperature, type of carbs eaten and...well you get my point! 

2 years later, looking back, can you even imagine how wonderful it would be if only it was really that simple? you take 30 grams of carbs (don't worry, any carbs will do) add in 20 minutes of bike riding (don't worry what type of weather or if it was a quick sweating pace or a nice slow ride, it is all the same) and it will equal said amount of insulin and you have total blood sugar bliss because it all just balanced out.

I guess somewhere along the lines people forgot that we are talking about human beings, that are growing and maturing and ever changing.  Oh and did I forget to mention LIVING.  This day will not look like tomorrow and it certainly does not look like yesterday, even if you did everything the same.

This life does not allow for this type of balance, the unseen variables of living will always through you a curve ball. So you may guess by my rant I have yet to find balance in Cara's T1.  

Are you suggesting I find balance between life with and life without diabetes?  Because as of right now our diabetic life (shout out to Meri) is heavily over powering our non-diabetic lives.  Even though I'm not the one with diabetes my life still moves with a diabetes beat.  Since Cara is only 5 we (her parents) are living this life side by side her.  Type 1 diabetes is a part of our family now and I don't think this is a bad thing at all.


Diabetes did not come into our lives and everything else ceased to exist.  No, instead, diabetes seeped it's way into EVERY SINGLE  aspect of Cara's life.  When Cara is at school diabetes is there, when Cara is sleeping diabetes is there, when Cara eats and plays and dances and swims diabetes is there.  Is diabetes going to be a large part of her life?  YES, I would go as far as saying it is her life.  Is this a bad thing? NO! it is what it is.

So you think that I'm to focused on type 1 diabetes, I say... thank you, I try my very best!!

Lastly, is the search for balance found in our thoughts, balancing the good and the bad and everything in between?  In other words taking some positive and a little dash of negative and adding a sarcastic laugh here or there and somewhere you may find your balanced way of a diabetes life?

No, thank you...not for me!

Type 1 diabetes sucks and I have no problem saying this!  Now do I say this in front of Cara? To this date I have not.  will I? I'm sure I will...when the time is right!  Maybe one day we both will scream at the top of our lungs "Type 1 diabetes you SUCK".  But as of right now, she only see's the type 1 diabetes is "no big deal" side of things.

So where can I say that diabetes SUCKS...right here on my blog.  This is my balance and maybe that is the trick, we all find our own balance in our own special way.

When you are reading someone's blog you are peeking into a small potion of their lives, you are only seeing a very small glimpse.  It is one small piece of a very large and complex puzzle.  It is wonderful that some people look beyond the negative or turn a negative into a positive,  but on the same hand it is freeing to be able to express your worries and fears and embrace the negative, it is always comforting to know that you are not alone, and it is oh so reassuring to find acceptance among people that are fighting to find that same balance as you. 

What one person may need to achieve this magical and ever seeking balance may not be what the next person needs.  But what we all need is a little understanding in knowing that you just really never know what someone else truly needs.         

If We Were All The Same The World Would Be A Boring Place

Today is the first day of the 2nd Annual Diabetes Blog Week and I'm already behind the 8 ball on this one!!  I opened up my blogger dashboard and I saw Everyone's posts up and ready to be read.

Man, what it would be like to be organized!


Thanks to Karen at Bitter~Sweet for allowing us the chance to come together once again for a week of blogging about the same topics with all difference perspectives.  The DOC is not just made up of people who have diabetes, it thankfully includes mom's (me) and dad's who's children have diabetes, it includes spouses of people with diabetes,  it includes parent who have diabetes who have children with diabetes who have spouses with diabetes.  It includes all types of diabetes and all combination that can be affected by diabetes.

Did you get that? Ya me either and if I did happened to miss you, I apologize!!

Today's topic is on Admiring Our Differences:

As we grow we are told by almost everyone that if we were all the same the world would be a boring place. However as we get older sometimes our differences cause us to become critical and defensive to each other.  So today it is refreshing to be admiring our differences!

I, a mother of a child with type 1 diabetes and am so thankful to have found such a strong, out going, proud and all together diabetes ass kicking group of PWD (people with diabetes) to follow here in blog-ville.

With every post they give me hope for Cara's future that one day she will be just like them, standing up against stereo types and living her life to the fullest... not letting T1 stand in her way.

One day she will be an amazing athlete because you have shown me it is possible.  One day she can become a mother because you have so graciously allowed me into your world. One day she will stand up in front of very important people in hopes to make a difference for people with type 1 diabetes everywhere because you have lead the way.  One day she will make friends with people she has never met before because she knows the love and support that I get from the DOC.  One day she will be an independent and strong person with type 1 diabetes because you have shown me it is o.k. to let go a little at a time.  You have taught me to understand that there is no end to what this kid can do with or without type 1 diabetes and I thank you for that.

With every post you give me insight to a part of type 1 that I would never be able to understand without you.

With every post I learn and grow and you make me a better parent to a child with type 1 diabetes.

You have made me laugh and you have caused a few tears but the thing that never changes, when you are hurting no matter if your older or the same age as me I look at you as a child with type 1.  All I want to do at that very second is throw my arms around you and protect you as every mother does when their child is hurting.

To all the PWD thank you for blogging and sharing because I need your perspective and your differences...

Happy Mother's Day

I wrote this poem about being a mom of a child with type 1 diabetes.  So I thought on this Mother's Day I would re-post it.

The Diabetes Daughter

The worrying never stops morning, noon and night

The tension that surrounds us, you could cut it with a knife

The confusion and the questions, nothing ever seems to make sense

You are climbing a tremendous mountain everyday from the beginning to the end

Some days you are victorious and you reach the very top,

Looking on with hopes and amazement but waiting for that dreadful drop

Other days you take a step only to fall down in dismay

But on these days you get back up because there has to be a better way

For this is a journey that we must win, 

not for us but for our kin

It's a long and rocky road ahead but as always we will keep climbing

We believe and we know, that the most wonderous day is coming

The day when I can tell my daughter it is all done,

the dream has come

That day when they find a cure, I will praise that day for you and for me

and from that day on, my sweet little Cara, the diabetes daughter you no longer must be

Written by Nicole C

Happy Mother's Day to all my blood sugar checking sleep deprived carb counting insulin injecting mom's out there!  May wonderful blood sugar and a full nights sleep find you!

Medtronic Veo v.s. the Animas Ping...We are getting very close!

OK here it is "the list"

this is the way I make decisions, this is a little peak inside my head...ENJOY!!

We are right smack dab in the middle of making a decision on what pump to go with.  I thought that it might help if I "talked" this through with all of you.

First a little background:

We live in Ontario and our government  covers the cost of insulin pumps (wonderful and thankfully) but only pumps not CGM's.  Next we do not have any extra coverage, we are both self employed and EVERYTHING is out of pocket.  Therefore payment of the CGM are really out of our budget and not something that we can do every day for as long as Cara will be pumping as of right now.  A year of CGM's would cost us anywhere from $1300 if we were able to stretch every CGM to the max to $2600 or more if used as recommended without taxes.  This plus all our other type 1 cost and it just blows our budget.  Next the Omnipod is soon to arrive here in Canada however there is no assigned dates to it's arrival.  So we are still debating if this is something worth waiting for.  If we decided to go with Animas I think that we would take the time to see Omnipod, just to cover all our bases.  However if we go with the Medtronic Veo it will be because it has something that neither the Animas or Omnipod has to offer an integrated CGM.

So that means we are looking at the Medtronic Veo or the Animas Ping. 

The Veo is an insulin pump and continuous glucose monitoring system all in one with an automatic low glucose suspend.  Which means the pump stop the flow of insulin if it senses or calculates a low coming which is absolutely wonderful... plus, plus, plus!!  However, remember I mentioned that we do not have coverage therefore the CGM would be off the table for us because it is just too expensive for every day use.  However if we went with the Veo we would have the option to use the CGM whenever the chance arose or if our work or money situation changed.  So that is a plus for the Veo, having that low glucose suspend is always a plus.

The Ping does not have an integrated CGM however they are said to be in talks and soon to be coming out with an integrated dexcom in the next Ping.  However again if we went with Ping right now and wanted to upgrade to the new integrated one with the CGM it would cost us an upgrade fee, plus the money for the GGM sensors.  So a negative for the Ping.

Now the Ping has a great coloured screen, cute! But the real plus with the Ping is the remote meter that can work the pump.  A plus during nights when I just don't want to dig out the pump to bolus or even to bolus at meal times, I can really see us using it.  I like that idea!  I also like the proven waterproof...would Cara swim or play in the water with the pump on?? I'm not sure, maybe that is something that I would ask the Ping users our there!!

Do you Ping users wear your pumps in the water when swimming or rough housing in the water? Remember Cara is 5 and she is not going to be lying still on a floating chair catching some rays, she will be playing and jumping all over the place!!

Anyways, so water proof maybe a plus, colour screen, cute but really nothing to base an important decision on and a remote, defiantly a big plus for the Ping.

The Veo we have used before for a few weeks when Cara was hooked up to the CGM.  We liked the menu, it was easy to understand and it also lit up at night, so a plus.  That was nice!  The one thing that I loved about the Veo was Care link.  Care link allows patients to quickly and easily upload data from their Veo to a secure online database.  It's super easy and allows the Endo docs and nurses to see what is going on without stepping foot into the office.  That was great!! However if your not using the CGM this wonderful piece of technology and a huge plus for the Medtronic Veo is irrelevant.


The Medtronic Veo comes with 3 meters that "talks" to the pump free of charge.  So we could have a meter at home, at school and in our to-go bag and not have to worry about missing information it would all be stored on the pump.  The Ping comes with only the one meter that also "talks" to the pump but you are also able to work the pump with the meter.  However you lose that and your paying for another one.  However we have NEVER lost a meter before!!       

Both meters for the Veo and the Ping I really don't like the looks of...they are ugly!! so no marks for design of the meters but I think I like the look of the Medtronic Veo over the Animas Ping.  I like were the buttons are located on the Veo a little bit more.  The up and down arrow by themselves and the act button off to the side.  On the Animas the up and down arrow are aliened with the OK button and I just don't like that.

So anyone counting?? 
I'm just stuck!  Some options are much more important to me then others and if we were going with the CGM hands down we would be using the Medtronic Veo. I would sign us up right now but I'm not sure how many times we could afford to use the CGM.

I do like one over the other and I really do think that I'm very close to my final decision. Cara is really NO HELP, she likes the pink one...well they both come in pink!

So go ahead DOC please post your comments about your pump and what you love it.  I know you all love your pumps BUT please no bashing of other pumps and other's decisions.  I know this is very personal to all of us!