Monday, April 30, 2012
In life I always...well, usually always see the positive but it's not just the positive, I seem to imagine the very best scenario and then some. Which is all good UNTIL your super high hopes become smashed into a hundred tiny little pieces right before your eyes and your left feeling down and defeated.
I know or I think I know it is better to prepare for the worst but hope for the best...but can you really do that?
NOT ME, I try, I really do, but I just can't! I really believe that the best is going to happen for me in any circumstance that I'm in, like say going to the casino or buying a lottery ticket I really think I'm going to win, someone has to right? Why not me? I have the need and the ability only to focus and believe that amazing, wondrous things are in store and though that might sound great that is not always good because that is not always the case. Reality is not all rainbow and unicorns especially when we are talking about diabetes and the dreaded A1C.
Our (Cara's) A1C appointment is tomorrow and yet again I have really high hopes, like super high hopes that our (Cara's) A1C will have gone down...like way way down, I'm hoping for say around a 7.5?!?! and anything more I'm going to be devastated and defeated.
My brain is only imagining the wondrous things like how excited they (the doctors) are going to be when they see that number. That's right they are going to be soooo happy!! I picture them saying things like: "WOW, you guys are just doing an amazing job" "boy, I wish every parent was as great as you" "Good for you, the best diabetes parents that we have seen in a long time" or "it is an honor to be your doctor...thank you" They may even be a little concerned because with parents like us who needs doctors? We might just get a BIG shinny sparkly GOLD star . They may not even say anything, one look at that number and they may just rise out of their seats in awe and with a smile on their faces begin to clap. You know just the basics...lol (trust me I know, you don't have to tell me...never going to happen...but how wonderful if it did)
Kinda silly and totally and completely unfounded as we have been fighting an A1C in the 10's forever and I mean FOREVER!! Not just a few months...FOREVER! but I really hope that stuff like this happens...a CRAZY girl can dream, can't she?!?!
I like hiding out in my happy happy love love we are awesome RAINBOW bubble, it really is a great place to stay but the trouble is when reality like the bastard it is comes with a sharp thin needle, kinda like a lancet and pops that bubble...watch out world and watch me fall into a hundred little pieces.
Fingers are crossed and I'm looking for my four leaf clover for tomorrow and again I think that I will be chickening out of going to the appointment and sending my husband. He seems to live in reality and therefore has no bubble to pop...except for mine when he calls and informs me of our (Cara's) A1C.
I'll let you know if we get the GOLD STAR to parenting a child with type 1 diabetes.
I know...reality Nic, stick with reality!