Today I thought that we could get away with it.
It was only for 1 hour, right after lunch and before p.m. snack...a prefect time to try!
She was a little higher then I liked going into lunch and that gave me a little worry so I pulled back her correction because honestly I would rather her a little higher then lower when Cara was planning on attending an hour reading group with a friend at a local library.
Today I wanted to leave all the worries, pressures and complications of D at home with me, locked away in my head and allow Cara her hour with her friend without a huge focused on D. I was not able to attend because I had 4 other children at home that needed to be watched.
FOR ONE STUPID HOUR.
Of course I took D precautions, I'm not that crazy! I packed her Blue Bag that has all her D-must haves to stay safe while having fun. A card with my phone number as a back-up and very basic instructions for Cara when dealing with a low and a quick "what to do if" drill for Cara before she left the house. I called the library earlier that morning to ensure they understood that a child with type 1 diabetes would be with them for the hour reading group and they had no issues.
I'm trying to allow Cara to take charge of her diabetes, be informed and be able to make a choice of what needs to be done next. I believe at her age (6) and living with diabetes for more than half her life it is important for Cara to own a little bit of that...of course with mom and dad as back- up when needed. It is a growing process, we all do it. Just like when your parents dropped you off at a play date with your friends and there is no need for them to hang around because YOU GOT THIS! I want Cara to feel that, to feel that pride and responsibility.
And I thought an hour reading group would be a great time to do this. BUT with 40 minutes into the hour I received a phone call..."Cara is feeling sick and has a blood sugar of 17mmols" "She looks really bad, I would not leave her here, I think you need to come pick her up". So I called my husband to pick her up thinking KETONES... damn, damn ketones! But as Cara arrived home she looked perfectly fine, I even said in a very snarky voice "she sure does not look sick to me?" as she jumped around laughing and joked with her friend. Cara I asked "why did you tell the ladies that you were sick"? "I didn't mom, I felt low (she gets her highs and lows mixed up sometimes) so I check and I was 17 and the lady said that I needed to go home because I was sick"
I felt so bad for Cara, her friend and her friends mom who planned this wonderful hour for Cara. They were just trying to have a fun day and I so thank them for treating Cara just like every other child...but a big reality check for me today... as hard as you try you just CANT GET 1 HOUR!
Today I'm pissed because Cara can't just run out the door, worry free to play with her friends.
Today I'm pissed because I know she is small and young but if she says she is OK she is OK.
TODAY I'M PISSED BECAUSE DIABETES MAKES PEOPLE SCARED OF MY 6 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER...and that hurts!!
The ladies at the library commented to the mother of Cara's friend "that it is fine if she comes back however they would like someone there who knows what to do about diabetes next time to stay"
Cara had a great time but I don't think she will be going back there anytime soon! and I can only imagine the comments and rash judgments that these women are placing on me at this moment.
"What type of mother would blah blah blah...my response GO FUCK YOUR SELF!!
and that goes for diabetes as well...that is all...