No Words As An Angel Rises

September 2, 2012 started off just like any day.

I woke up to a house full of cheerful laughter with a side of sibling fighting.

The day carried on normally for us.  However on this day a very special someone and her family were in the forefront of every thought.


In the early afternoon I made my way upstairs to make a phone but before I did that I needed to check in on my fb friends.  They are my family and you can't go a day without checking in on them.

I logged in

My facebook feeds filled my screen.

I posted a very special message with a picture of a very special man for a very special family because on this day we were praying for a very special miracle.

 My fb status:  TODAY (and everyday) I SEND LOVE AND PRAYERS TO MY DEAR FRIEND MERI, HER HUSBAND RYAN AND THEIR 4 BOYS.♥ ♥ ♥ Please send them your prayers and thoughts for their miracle!! Thank You!!

"This is Ryan six months ago...just one week after he w as diagnosed. He doesn't look like this anymore. The radiation, the steroids and the cancer itself has done a number on his body. But, his eyes remain the same. That is what I fell in love with, his smiling eyes. Please, pray for my husband. Please pray for the father of my four boys. Especially today. He is almost to the point where he cannot walk. We need your mighty prayers to lift his spirits, and if it is God's will...to provide the miracle we so desperately yearn for". ~Meri Schuhmacher

As I refreshed my news feed to check in one last time Meri posted a status.

"Ryan passed away this morning, peacefully in his family's arms. Our miracle was that he did no suffer. Thank you for your fervent prayers." 

Ryan had passed away.  My heart stopped, as I struggled to take my next breath, I took a few more seconds to re-read her post.  Ryan passed away this morning...again and again, I don't know how many times I had to read that post.  My brain and my heart were not on the same page. 


My brain understood what this had meant. Poor sweet Ryan had been in a fight for his life, battling brain cancer with Meri courageously and amazingly by his side believing in and willing a miracle for the past 6 months.

My heart could not make sense of this news, things had gotten worse recently but we had fight still left in us. This was too soon.  I actually became irate as I thought in my denial that someone was playing a horrible joke.  As tears streamed down my face, I let out my first thought "NOOOoo". The reality of my dear friends nightmare became clear as my heart slowly started to accepted what my brain knew and in that moment  a mess of emotions. PANIC...what do I do? I froze staring at my computer screen.  HEART ACHE...I cried for the pain and sadness that Ryan's family must be going through.  I would never want anyone to go through what Meri, Ryan and their boys are going through at this time and have been through these last 6 months.  FEAR...how can this happen? how can someone be there one minute and not the next?  RAGE...how can this happen? how can someone be there one minute and not the next?

I wanted so much to wrap my arms around Meri at that very second and still today the same but I'm so, so far away.  Her strength, love and faith has me in awe. Meri embodies the purest and undying love of a wife, the always comforting open arms of a mother and the true strength of a woman.   

Facebook,email and texting brings me as close as I can get to my dear friend and that is the pain and sorrow of having a family living in my computer.   

You can send messages through words, little <3 hearts and (((HUGS))) but what do you do when there are NO WORDS? 

I am grieving the loss of a man that I have never met but to me he was part of my family and for that I am so great-full.

I would like to share a fundraising page that has been set up to help Meri and her 4 boys with whatever their needs will be. Please follow the link and if you can PLEASE donate.  Thank You! Schuhmacher Family Miracle (2) Fundraising PAGE


 All my love and thoughts ALWAYS, my dear sweet Meri <3 <3 <3