When Cara was dx with type 1 diabetes it was a lot to take in but from the moment we finally had the diagnosis I felt a sense of relief...we had an answer! We knew what was wrong, next step was how do we do this. I guess that is the kind of person I am, if there is a problem lets attack it, get is done and more on. Of course, don't get me wrong, I would be lying if I did not share that I had many bawling in the shower moments and/or hiding under the covers in hopes everything would just go away times and you can't forget the screw this I'm DONE moods and last to mention but oh so many more, my poor sweet little girl pitty party I like to throw. But for the most part...we had a diagnosis, we knew what to do and here we go.
When Cara was dx, maybe a day later when things started to settle down, when we knew she would be O.K., once they were able to bring her blood sugar down to a reasonable range did we start to dive into the info and see what this damn thing diabetes was all about. I guess your first questions after the what? is why? Why did this happen to my child ?and really with diabetes there are no true reasons, no one to blame, no one to get mad at or go after...just an environmental trigger or genetics or both.
When Cara was dx she was not the only one I was worried about I have 5 other children, 5 other children that could be harboring this damn disease. 5 other children who could be looking at diabetes in their future. But at what time? When? How long do we have? Or will it at all? Again no answers, what the hell is up with that? and of course with no answers you have no plan of attack, we sit and wait...and wait, do some tests, watch for symptoms and wait...eh, why not wait a little more BECAUSE it's soooo fun! THANKS!
And these symptoms that I need to look out for in my over sensitive hyper diabetes diagnosis brain...good gowd, I think I have dx'ed Kirstin like 3 times in the past 4 years (wow, you say it like that and really it does not seems like a lot, I might be sane after all?) because of these symptoms... thirst,(well what kids does not get a bout of thirst) hunger, (guess what?... kids grow... and they get reallllly hungry) peeing a lot, (kids have small little bladders, what can I say? my kids are in the bathroom all the time NOT FLUSHING THEIR TOILETS BTW) tiredness (2-4 year olds and kids in general get tired and cranky...religiously) dark circles under the eyes (Ugh you get my point, right?) Why couldn't one of the symptoms be a great big red D on your chest at diagnosis?? Of course right after diagnosis it would fade you all have enough on your plates!!
NO? To easy I guess!
Do you understand how many times my children exhibit this "symptoms" mostly the younger ones.
Do you understand how many times I give my husband "the look" after one of the little ones ask for something more to drink. Or if one of the little ones wet the bed...Oh-Boy watch out kid because mommy is coming after you with a meter in one hand and a poker in the other...just saying!
I feel like diabetes is playing a waiting game with us and I am really running out of patience!
Connor my soon to be 11 year old is positive for 1of the 4 antibody that can be present in people with type 1 diabetes. The other kids are all negative :) My soon to be 11 year old son has been involved with TrialNet for a while now and we just finished his first glucose tolerant test. I've been very patient waiting for the results until now. I found a post from Diabetes on the Side. Krissy shares little Livie's results and it crushed my heart. 1. because I hate diabetes and we need a cure before anyone else is dx with this damn disease and 2. because Livie's before and after bg numbers where VERY close to Connor's, now like I said I don't have Connor's results and I don't know what his A1c was however with the results that Krissy got back they told her that her little Livie"will most likely develop T1D within the next 5 years" and that breaks my heart, for Livie and Connor...and I WANT MY RESULTS NOW!!!
All I can think about is getting the results.
On top of this result needing for Connor, Cody seems to have decided to exhibit some symptoms...he is thirsty ALL THE TIME, He seems to be peeing a lot more however in my state I may be making this up, he is S.T.A.R.V.I.N.G all damn day and a few nights ago he wet the bed...he NEVER wets the bed. Yes my dear friends I have checked for ketones and we are negative and the second Cara gets home with her meter my sweet little Cody is getting picked!! A mom's got to do what a mom's got to do to save her own mind...just a little.
This will be Cody's second Mommy diagnosis...I'm telling you...UGH! Killing me!!
The stressing over when's and if's are almost as bad a dealing with D head on every single day with out the night time checks...ALMOST AS BAD!!
(and i have no idea what the hell happened to my font by the end of this post? I know you were thinking it!!)
7 comments:
UGHHH....I hate this damn disease! I felt heartbroken when I read Krissy's blog as well. We all fear it for our other children. I cannot imagine the waiting for the results...really it makes me crazy to imagine going through that. I am that crazy with my son as well....I can't imagine having even more kids to worry about like you! My son is 11 too, so I really for you. You would not believe the things I've done to check if my son is okay! I didn't want him to know what I was doing and make him worry, so I might have told him he needed to pee into the little toilet topper they give you in the hospital because I had just cleaned the toilet and didn't want him to go in it!!!!?? And he believe me and did it although thought it was very weird!!! Then I checked for sugar and ketones. Now I just check his bg which is much easier and he seems clueless that I would be worried about him and he just thinks we are doing it just for fun! CrAzY...that's me!
Hang in there. Honestly, getting the news of the positive autoantibodies was harder than the OGTT results. I was expecting the OGTT results. I wasn't expecting the autoantibodies. I just wish I knew how long I had...1 year? 3 years? Do I dare hope for 5? Fingers crossed for good results for Conner.
Im a Mom that diagnoses too, and I agree that the waiting, watching and whens are all JUST AS BAD as the actual diagnosis sometimes!! (Well, maybe not)
-SIGH- Being that I am T1, my Dad was and Maddison is I watch my Hannah closely. Her A1c is continually borderline at 5.5% and man oh man! Sometimes I swear TODAY IS THE DAY....but....
We cant do that to ourselves. Today is the day she/he "isnt", so thats all that matters right?
My daughter (15) refuses to do trial net, and, I guess Im ok with that. I always believe there is that 1% that breaks the rules, because we ALWAYS have been in this house!! PRAY FOR THAT 1% chance of avoiding D again!!! ((HUGS))
I refuse to do the trial net study for Leighanna... I don't want to know. I already watch; I don't think I can know its coming and still maintain any form of sanity. I know, I have issues.
Oh boy! I haven't worried about Bridget in awhile. My ears are always cued into the splash of her urine hitting the toilet water. Is it too much? How many empty water glasses are by her bed..? etc?
Thinking of you and sending you and your kiddos positive vibes. xo
Oh gosh! I can't even imagine!
But... if you need to lighten the mood a little... you could think of what you would have to retitle the blog!
Did you get your results yet? Seems like it's taking an awfully long time. We had ours within 7 business days.
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