It is amazing how memories work. It seems like just yesterday I was sitting in the ER with a very fragile, very sick and extremely thirsty 3 year old Cara.
I remember driving with my mother to the ER with Cara buckled tightly in her car seat. I didn't want to take my eyes off of her. Talking to her, "Cara how are you doing?" "Cara you are going to be OK, we will be there soon".
I remember rehearsing the symptoms (at the time I did not know they were type 1 symptoms) over and over in my head as I drove. The ER was our 4th stop in trying to get help for Cara, the 3 other times we were sent on our way with a "she'll be fine" I was NOT leaving that hospital without someone taking the time to tell me what the hell was wrong with my baby.
I remember the way she craved water waiting in the waiting room for the long 3.5 hour wait. I will never forget how much she cherished one little drop. From the second she knew you had water in the cup to the moment you got that cup to her mouth her EYES were focused intensely on you.
I will never forget the frustration I felt when Cara would tell me she needed to go pee AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN. When you are sitting in a room full of sick, coughing, yucky germy, vomiting people the last thing you want to do is get up and take a walk in that, not to mention using the pubic bathroom...YUUUUCK!
I will never forget the feeling when the 2 ER nurses were trying to find a vein over and over again and the panic in their eyes as they realized there was no fight in the little girl on the table that they were working on. Cara just lied there poke after poke, vein search after vein search.
I remember the words from the ER Doctor "the tests are not back yet to confirm, however I'm 99.9% sure that your daughter has type 1 diabetes"
I remember the relief that someone finally listened to this "crazy
mom" Finally someone saw what I knew, yet was unable to identify.
There are also happy memories from 3 years ago, memories that make me smile.
After the diagnoses we packed Cara's heart pajamas so she can wear them in the hospital on Valentines Day. I remember how she smiled every time the nurses and doctors would comment on them. She felt so special and a smile meant a thousand times more sitting in a hospital room.
I remember a very funny sticker covered Cara. Every time a nurse came in her room they would give her a sticker that Cara had to stick immediately onto herself. She was covered head to toe in stickers at the end of each day.
I remember seeing the life entering her face as the insulin was slowly introduced into her very sick, thin body. Every day I would wake to a healthier more energetic Cara and I was so happy and thankful to see that.
I remember our hours of strolling through the hospital halls at night when everyone else was sleeping. Cara in one of the fun cars you push or a big stroller and me just wanting to get back to bed. I was so tired, I was so overwhelmed but I kept on walking because it made Cara happy, it made her feel something else but sick, pain and frightened. We walked and walked and walked every night.
I remember the love and care that we felt from our nurses while in the hospital. They made us feel secure knowing that they are taking care of not only Cara but us as well. To this day these nurses have filled our D life with an amazing amount of understanding and powerful knowledge filled with love and they have become our family. I can't thank them enough.
3 years ago today seems so close yet so so long ago...
Monday, February 13, 2012
Saturday, February 4, 2012
OK DOC I need a little help.
We have recently started to see a dramatically, majorly, HUGE difference in Cara's insulin needs depending on where she is. I think it may have something to do with nerves/excitement when she is at school but it is getting out of hand now.
A little while ago we realized that Cara runs higher at school then she does at home.
The nurse looking at her numbers between home and school and asked "What in the world do you have Cara doing at home, running laps?"(she was thinking that extra exercise was dropping her low at home) NO! I replied. They do NOTHING at home. I think she is just comfortable at home and at school she has a lot of nerves kicking in which is raising her blood sugar. So we knew we might need a different basal rates for home and school.
BUT NOW IT IS GETTING CRAZY!! I think we are going to need 2 different basal and bolus rates depending where she is.
Has anyone ever experienced this? If so what did you do? and what was the cause?
Thanks so much for your help!! and of coarse we will be asking our endo what to do :)
Posted by Nicole at 2:22 PM
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Last night I got some...and it was amazing!
SLEEP, I'm talking about SLEEP!!
When I was going to bed I had tested Cara's blood sugar it was a tad higher then perfectly in range BUT I knew it was perfect for a much needed night of sleep.
When she runs high at night a correction bolus of insulin is needed which means the alarm is set for a blood sugar check at 2:00am. If Cara is perfectly in range at 11:30pm that means an alarm is set for a blood sugar check at 2:00am to make sure she stays perfectly in range. If Cara is low at 11:30 that means carbs are given, 15 minutes a re-check and then the alarm is set for a blood sugar check at 2:00am.
It has been almost 3 years of waking up at least once almost every single night to check blood sugar.
Type 1 diabetes has aged me more then I ever thought it would. The lack of good quality sleep at night is a killer but the guilt that if something ever happened to Cara while I was enjoying my sleep would literally be the death of me. So I wake up and check...but not last night.
Last night I slept, last night I even had a dream, I love remembering my dreams btw during this dream I found out that I was the Kardashian's half sister. Yes it was a GREAT dream...LOVE THE KARDASHIANS, LOVE and this morning it was even more funny telling my husband about it. His response to me being the long lost half sister of the Kardashians was "What half? your lower half?" Ya I got it, I have a BIG ASS!!
Great sleep last night equals a great morning and hopefully a great day. I even realized I need to increase Cara's basal over night a bit.
Another Win Win :)