Feeling Great As Diabetes Kicks Our Butt...Today!

We had our ENDO visit today, 

our A1C went up...

diabetes is kicking our summer butts...

I don't feel like I have diabetes under control at all right now...

BUT, all that stuff is not going to bother me TODAY!

Cara grew over 1 inch in 3 months...wonderful, 

Cara came home with a smile on her face and a skip in her step from her appointment...wonderful, 

Cara is growing and is healthy and is happy and that is all that matters...today!

Today even though diabetes is NUTS and still CRAZY I feel great about what we are doing and where we are going and who we have on our side.

Today diabetes is not taking us down, we are rising above and moving on.  Today we are not a number, today I don't see diabetes as a problem that I must beat and win every single battle.  Today diabetes just is and that is ok and I will ride out the bad and hard times and we will come out even better, even stronger on the other side. Today I will take my hits and ready myself to dish it out.  

Today I feel refreshed, ready and willing to live our lives with diabetes. 

Today I feel good, I have beat diabetes and not because our numbers are great, not because I'm in total control but because I have over come. Today I can see past the negative and the doubt and the guilt and the numbers.  I see that each and every day is a new day, a day that I have all the tools and support that I need to get myself, Cara and my family through this journey with diabetes.

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY and I hope you all are having a good day too!!

Mystery Of The Broken Insulin

We had just finished dinner, an amazing Sunday night dinner I might add.  The kids were all playing around the house without fighting (never happens) and my husband and I were just sitting down to watch the closing ceremonies of the Olympics and unwind for the night.  When all of a sudden I got a whiff of it...what is that smell?  As I took 3 big sniffs I said...is that insulin? 

I did just do a site change that afternoon but never did the smell of insulin follow me throughout the day. 

As I began to sniff all around me like a fricken bloodhound, my noise in the wind and wild eyes scanning the room smelling all around me I asked my husband "can you smell that?" My husband sitting on the other couch just gave me a look like I had lost my diabetes obsessed mind.   "OMG, all I can smell is insulin!  He of course could not smell a thing.

As I continued the search sniffing and looking, sniffing and looking I finally found it...

A BAND NEW VIAL OF INSULIN BROKEN AND COMPLETELY EMPTY

 OH SHIT!!

 

SOMEONE had hidden it under a book surrounded by the remnants of the prior site change.  No one it talking and I have no clue who did this. 

My main two suspects are Connor (who was cleaning the family room just before we ate dinner) or Kylie (before I even had a chance to smell the insulin Kylie had walked into the room just as my husband and I were sitting down and she made a few comments about the smell "what is that smell?" Ewww mom do you smell that?") or they may be working together...

 DARN KIDS!!

High & Trying To Learn

This summer I was not going to let my kids just sit around and do NOTHING all summer soooo I got them a tutor.  I knew that all my kids could use a head start with the upcoming school year, especially Connor and Cara. 

Connor has a very significant learning disability and Cara, well... she has diabetes.

You might say "Diabetes? Diabetes has to do with blood sugar NOT learning" However diabetes and blood sugar DOES AFFECT HER LEARNING at school.

I really never truly understood just HOW much blood sugar affects learning, brain function and the ability to concentrate until NOW.  I mean, yes I heard all the facts and read a few papers, yes I heard the DOC blogging and facebooking and talking about it, yes I did see it in other facets of Cara's life but nothing like I saw it during her summer tutoring at home.  All throughout school, Cara's teacher continuously gave me a heads up with her grades, they just weren't up to par with the rest of her class and the teacher very blatantly blamed a lot of it on diabetes.  I was thinking it had to do with the loss of class time however now I have a better understanding of how diabetes and why diabetes is affecting Cara in school.

WHY:

Reason #1:  Cara is out of the classroom A LOT, with blood sugar testing, treating lows, going to the bathroom, getting drinks, calling home to get carb counts...it really all adds up.  Cara is missing a huge amount of class time.

Reason #2.  When Cara is high she definitely struggles to concentrate and learn.

Recently,  I have witnessed this struggle first hand.

The non-stop shifting and re-adjusting, the itching of the nose, the whining, the scribbles, the numerous eraser flakes. 

My poor girl is struggling to learn when her blood sugar is high and this has had a huge impact on her schooling.  To watch this internal struggle for a parent is upsetting, frustrating, maddening and guilt-filled. 

It all seems to start with the constant rubbing of the tip of her nose, using her flat open palm to try and itch the problem away all while continuously shifting from a sitting position in her chair to kneeling on her legs and then back again to sitting.  Then the whining begins.  It starts quiet enough, with a little ughhhhh here and a grrrrr there until she is in full blown ahhhhhh and if she is really having a tough time tears will be shed.  The frustration becomes even more apparent with one glance at the lined sheet of paper with slight holes beginning to break the page from the pressure and stress of the pencil and eraser.  Pink eraser flakes fill the page and surround the scribbled answers crossed out due to the inability to come up with the correct answer.  Her work is messy and wrong.  Once she finally gives up on the paper she seems to glance around the room looking at the others, all doing what she should be.  Maybe she is looking for possible help, or someone or something to re-focus on, lost in a overwhelming moment of a high blood sugar with a brain that just CAN NOT follow along and focus on what she is suppose to be learning.

This is a huge problem and something that is causing me a tremendous amount of stress.  Without a nurse in the school full time I have not felt comfortable running her extremely tight but after seeing what a high blood sugar actually does to Cara and her ability to focus, concentrate and learn I have a NEED to get her as close as I can to a "normal" or "target" blood sugar. 

With Cara getting older I am becoming a little more comfortable with her ability to get the help that she needs at school in the case of a low but I'm still very hesitant.

I have to work this out and make a plan and keep my daughter safe AND LEARNING while in school. 

I will get this done!!  I have too!

Our Trip To London and The Banting House

Today was a day that I have been waiting for, for a long long time...and it was perfect!


BUT first we had to get the glucose tolerant test done for Connor to follow up with his TrialNet results.  He did great, once they found a vein...tough as nails these kids!! and a lot of blood vials to fill.  Cara was very interested in the whole two hour process.  The only part that she felt any sort of sympathy for Connor was when they were taking all the tape off his hand as they removed the needle.  It was actually kinda funny, they both were making the same painful face (wish I took a pic) Cara hates removing her sites because of the pulling of the tape.
  

Thumbs up, he did almost vomit as soon as he drank down that sugar orange drink but the nurse and I talked him through it and no problems or vomit after that!!

Now the waiting game 4-6 weeks until we get the results.

BUT THE BEST PART OF THE DAY!!  Since we were in London (Ontario) we (I) HAD to make a stop at the Banting House.  This is where Sir Frederick G. Banting thought up the idea of insulin and saved the life's of all type 1's around the world.  Speechless!! 

If you EVER have a chance you MUST visit!  The information is amazing, I feel like I knew Sir Frederick Banting, you get a very special peak back in time at a truly amazing and with all respect a very radical man...an amazing man...this guy knew how to live!

first thing I saw, first thing I read and the start of tears filling my eyes.  Cara & Connor kept asking mom what does that say?  My response "ask your dad to read it"

Cara and the man that saved her life...THANK YOU!!

The Flame of Hope "This flame will burn continuously and only be extinguished when it can be declared that a cure for diabetes has been found." and what a wonderful day that will be!

Before he thought up his discovery he was a Orthopedic Surgeon trying to open a functioning practice after the war. Only after his practice was not going very well he decided to take on some lectures at the University, the topic given to him...THE PANCREAS. So nervous about his lecture he was going to give the next morning and unable to sleep his mind raced...and history was made!    

Blue Lights :)

I can truly say I LOVE THIS MAN!

It was actually October 31st they told us.  There are many documents with Oct 30th however in reality it was past midnight when he got out of bed with the most wonderful idea!

The actual room, bed, wallpaper, flooring, desk, bedside table and the same room that the discovery of insulin was thought of in.  AMAZING!!

Where the actual magic happened...a medical miracle! 

All this mom can say is THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! 

All it takes is one person, one night to think of one idea to change the world.  This thought is what gives me hope that a cure, one day will be found.

YOU GUYS HAVE TO GO HERE!! you can also follow them on facebook