Diabetes Is SOOOO COOL

That's right, you read it HERE...Diabetes is SOOOO COOL!

I was informed last Sunday just how cool diabetes is.  Cara attended a friends birthday party and the second we walked in she wanted to dive right into the birthday snacks that were on the table, which was fine with me!

As I began to pull her meter out the circle of friends began to grow around us. What started out with 2 kids standing with Cara and I was now 5-6 and growing.  The kids getting closer and closer trying to get a look at what was going to happen next.  As I poked her finger we were in the middle of a pretty large circle of friends from Cara's class.  I found myself in a bit of a panic, second guessing my decision to test out in the open like that.  As Cara gets older and starts to care what people think about her and diabetes I need to be more aware of the best places for diabetes to shine.  I would hate for a few kids to make rude or insensitive comments about testing...I mean they are only kids and kids are not to fond of needles and blood. All it would take is one little girl letting out a great big "YUCK...that is soooo gross!" to make Cara feel self conscience and thus begins the ever growing feeling of wanting to hide type 1 from her peers and public.

As I placed the bubble of blood onto the strip I began to look at the kids around us...completely mesmerized with what we were doing. 

Wide eyed and so interested to see.


As I pulled out Cara's pump the circle began to shuffle around us, heads bobbing in and out trying to get around the heads in front of them as they tried to find the best view.  I looked up at Cara who was sporting a HUGE smile on her face, thoroughly enjoying all the positive attention that diabetes was giving her. 

Most (probably all) of these kids have seen Cara testing at school when she feels low however they really don't get a good look at us bolusing her.  As I pressed the last ACT button to press on Cara's pink pump a little girl yelled out "OH MY GOSH, DIABETES IS SOOOO COOL" I looked at Cara and said "did you hear that? diabetes is cool!".  The circle of kids that surrounded us now nodding, in a large cult like motion, agreeing with the above statement and with another glowing smile Cara also nodded, following her cult and replied "YEP, I herd that...hehehe"!!

The Wait Is Killing Me and What Is Up With Cody?

When Cara was dx with type 1 diabetes it was a lot to take in but from the moment we finally had the diagnosis I felt a sense of relief...we had an answer! We knew what was wrong, next step was how do we do this.  I guess that is the kind of person I am, if there is a problem lets attack it, get is done and more on.  Of course, don't get me wrong, I would be lying if I did not share that I had many bawling in the shower moments and/or  hiding under the covers in hopes everything would just go away times and you can't forget the screw this I'm DONE moods and last to mention but oh so many more, my poor sweet little girl pitty party I like to throw.  But for the most part...we had a diagnosis, we knew what to do and here we go.

When Cara was dx, maybe a day later when things started to settle down, when we knew she would be O.K., once they were able to bring her blood sugar down to a reasonable range did we start to dive into the info and see what this damn thing diabetes was all about.  I guess your first questions after the what? is why? Why did this happen to my child ?and really with diabetes there are no true reasons, no one to blame, no one to get mad at or go after...just an environmental trigger or genetics or both.

When Cara was dx she was not the only one I was worried about I have 5 other children, 5 other children that could be harboring this damn disease.  5 other children who could be looking at diabetes in their future. But at what time? When? How long do we have? Or will it at all? Again no answers, what the hell is up with that? and of course with no answers you have no plan of attack, we sit and wait...and wait, do some tests, watch for symptoms and wait...eh, why not wait a little more BECAUSE it's soooo fun! THANKS!

And these symptoms that I need to look out for in my over sensitive hyper diabetes diagnosis brain...good gowd, I think I have dx'ed Kirstin like 3 times in the past 4 years (wow, you say it like that and really it does not seems like a lot, I might be sane after all?) because of these symptoms... thirst,(well what kids does not get a bout of thirst) hunger, (guess what?... kids grow... and they get reallllly hungry)  peeing a lot, (kids have small little bladders, what can I say? my kids are in the bathroom all the time NOT FLUSHING THEIR TOILETS BTW) tiredness (2-4 year olds and kids in general get tired and cranky...religiously) dark circles under the eyes (Ugh you get my point, right?)  Why couldn't one of the symptoms be a great big red D on your chest at diagnosis?? Of course right after diagnosis it would fade you all have enough on your plates!!

NO? To easy I guess!

Do you understand how many times my children exhibit this "symptoms" mostly the younger ones.

Do you understand how many times I give my husband "the look" after one of the little ones ask for something more to drink.  Or if one of the little ones wet the bed...Oh-Boy watch out kid because mommy is coming after you with a meter in one hand and a poker in the other...just saying!

I feel like diabetes is playing a waiting game with us and I am really running out of patience!

Connor my soon to be 11 year old is positive for 1of the 4 antibody that can be present in people with type 1 diabetes. The other kids are all negative :)  My soon to be 11 year old son has been involved with TrialNet for a while now and we just finished his first glucose tolerant test.  I've been very patient waiting for the results until now. I found a post from Diabetes on the Side.  Krissy shares little Livie's results and it crushed my heart.  1. because I hate diabetes and we need a cure before anyone else is dx with this damn disease and 2. because Livie's before and after bg numbers where VERY close to Connor's, now like I said I don't have Connor's results and I don't know what his A1c was however with the results that Krissy got back they told her that her little Livie"will most likely develop T1D within the next 5 years"  and that breaks my heart, for Livie and Connor...and I WANT MY RESULTS NOW!!! 

All I can think about is getting the results.

On top of this result needing for Connor, Cody seems to have decided to exhibit some symptoms...he is thirsty ALL THE TIME, He seems to be peeing a lot more however in my state I may be making this up, he is S.T.A.R.V.I.N.G all damn day and a few nights ago he wet the bed...he NEVER wets the bed.  Yes my dear friends I have checked for ketones and we are negative and the second Cara gets home with her meter my sweet little Cody is getting picked!! A mom's got to do what a mom's got to do to save her own mind...just a little.

This will be Cody's second Mommy diagnosis...I'm telling you...UGH! Killing me!! 

The stressing over when's and if's are almost as bad a dealing with D head on every single day with out the night time checks...ALMOST AS BAD!!

(and i have no idea what the hell happened to my font by the end of this post? I know you were thinking it!!)

Diabetes Art Day From Kylie

Today was Diabetes Art Day. I asked the kids when they got home if anyone would like to do something for this day.  Kylie my 8 year old non D came up with this...

AND I LOVE IT!

I had no idea what she was going to do. I told her that she could use some old and used diabetes supplies.  When I saw it I feel in love with it, it's so pretty and calming and clean and refreshing and simple.  I would NOT have come up with something like this, diabetes is not that for me... actually it is the total opposite. 

It's funny how we all look at diabetes differently.


THANK YOU KY FOR DOING THIS!!

No Words As An Angel Rises

September 2, 2012 started off just like any day.

I woke up to a house full of cheerful laughter with a side of sibling fighting.

The day carried on normally for us.  However on this day a very special someone and her family were in the forefront of every thought.


In the early afternoon I made my way upstairs to make a phone but before I did that I needed to check in on my fb friends.  They are my family and you can't go a day without checking in on them.

I logged in

My facebook feeds filled my screen.

I posted a very special message with a picture of a very special man for a very special family because on this day we were praying for a very special miracle.

 My fb status:  TODAY (and everyday) I SEND LOVE AND PRAYERS TO MY DEAR FRIEND MERI, HER HUSBAND RYAN AND THEIR 4 BOYS.♥ ♥ ♥ Please send them your prayers and thoughts for their miracle!! Thank You!!

"This is Ryan six months ago...just one week after he w as diagnosed. He doesn't look like this anymore. The radiation, the steroids and the cancer itself has done a number on his body. But, his eyes remain the same. That is what I fell in love with, his smiling eyes. Please, pray for my husband. Please pray for the father of my four boys. Especially today. He is almost to the point where he cannot walk. We need your mighty prayers to lift his spirits, and if it is God's will...to provide the miracle we so desperately yearn for". ~Meri Schuhmacher

As I refreshed my news feed to check in one last time Meri posted a status.

"Ryan passed away this morning, peacefully in his family's arms. Our miracle was that he did no suffer. Thank you for your fervent prayers." 

Ryan had passed away.  My heart stopped, as I struggled to take my next breath, I took a few more seconds to re-read her post.  Ryan passed away this morning...again and again, I don't know how many times I had to read that post.  My brain and my heart were not on the same page. 


My brain understood what this had meant. Poor sweet Ryan had been in a fight for his life, battling brain cancer with Meri courageously and amazingly by his side believing in and willing a miracle for the past 6 months.

My heart could not make sense of this news, things had gotten worse recently but we had fight still left in us. This was too soon.  I actually became irate as I thought in my denial that someone was playing a horrible joke.  As tears streamed down my face, I let out my first thought "NOOOoo". The reality of my dear friends nightmare became clear as my heart slowly started to accepted what my brain knew and in that moment  a mess of emotions. PANIC...what do I do? I froze staring at my computer screen.  HEART ACHE...I cried for the pain and sadness that Ryan's family must be going through.  I would never want anyone to go through what Meri, Ryan and their boys are going through at this time and have been through these last 6 months.  FEAR...how can this happen? how can someone be there one minute and not the next?  RAGE...how can this happen? how can someone be there one minute and not the next?

I wanted so much to wrap my arms around Meri at that very second and still today the same but I'm so, so far away.  Her strength, love and faith has me in awe. Meri embodies the purest and undying love of a wife, the always comforting open arms of a mother and the true strength of a woman.   

Facebook,email and texting brings me as close as I can get to my dear friend and that is the pain and sorrow of having a family living in my computer.   

You can send messages through words, little <3 hearts and (((HUGS))) but what do you do when there are NO WORDS? 

I am grieving the loss of a man that I have never met but to me he was part of my family and for that I am so great-full.

I would like to share a fundraising page that has been set up to help Meri and her 4 boys with whatever their needs will be. Please follow the link and if you can PLEASE donate.  Thank You! Schuhmacher Family Miracle (2) Fundraising PAGE


 All my love and thoughts ALWAYS, my dear sweet Meri <3 <3 <3